Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 7. - Josiah Allen\'s Wife (Marietta Holley)
SAMANTHA
AMONG THE BRETHREN.
By
"Josiah Allen's Wife"
(Marietta Holley)
Part 7
CHAPTER XXVI.
He wuz jest a-countin' out his money prior to puttin' it away in his tin
box, and I laid the subject before him strong and eloquent, jest the
wants and needs of the meetin' house, and jest how hard we female
sisters wuz a-workin', and jest how much we needed some money to buy our
ingregiencies with for the fair.
He set still, a-countin' out his money, but I know he heard me. There
wuz four fifty dollar bills, a ten, and a five, and I felt that at the
very least calculation he would hand me out the ten or the five, and
mebby both on 'em.
But he laid 'em careful in the box, and then pulled out his old
pocket-book out of his pocket, and handed me a ten cent piece.
[Illustration: "HANDED ME A TEN CENT PIECE."]
I wuz mad. And I hain't a-goin' to deny that we had some words. Or at
least I said some words to him, and gin him a middlin' clear idee of
how I felt on the subject.
Why, the colt wuz more mine than his in the first place, and I didn't
want a cent of money for myself, but only wanted it for the good of the
Methodist meetin' house, which he ort to be full as interested in as I
wuz.
Yes, I gin him a pretty lucid idee of what my feelin's wuz on the
subject--and spozed mebby I had convinced him. I wuz a-standin' with my
back to him, a-ironin' a shirt for him, when I finished up my piece
of mind. And thought more'n as likely as not he'd break down and be
repentent, and hand me out a ten dollar bill.
But no, he spoke out as pert and cheerful as anything and sez he:
"Samantha, I don't think it is necessary for Christians to give such a
awful sight. Jest look at the widder's mit."
I turned right round and looked at him, holdin' my flat-iron in my right
hand, and sez I:
"What do you mean, Josiah Allen? What are you talkin' about?"
[Illustration: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JOSIAH ALLEN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?"]
"Why the widder's mit that is mentioned in Scripter, and is talked about
so much by Christians to this day. Most probable it wuz a odd one, I
dare persume to say she had lost the mate to it. It specilly mentions
that there wuzn't but one on 'em. And jest see how much that is talked
over, and praised up clear down the ages, to this day. It couldn't have
been worth more'n five cents, if it wuz worth that."
"How do you spell mit, Josiah Allen?" sez I.
"Why m-i-t-e, mit."
"I should think," sez I, "that that spells mite."
"Oh well, when you are a-readin' the Bible, all the best commentaters
agree that you must use your own judgment. Mite! What sense is there in
that? Widder's mite! There hain't any sense in it, not a mite."
And Josiah kinder snickered here, as if he had made a dretful cute
remark, bringin' the "mite" in in that way. But I didn't snicker, no,
there wuzn't a shadow, or trace of anything to be heard in my linement,
but solemn and bitter earnest. And I set the flat-iron down on the
stove, solemn, and took up another, solemn, and went to ironin' on his
shirt collar agin with solemnety and deep earnest. "No," Josiah Allen
continued, "there hain't no sense in that--but mit! there you have
sense. All wimmen wear mits; they love 'em. She most probable had a good
pair, and lost one on 'em, and then give the other to the church. I tell
you it takes men to translate the Bible, they have such a realizin'
sense of the weaknesses of wimmen, and how necessary it is to translate
it in such a way as to show up them weaknesses, and quell her down, and
make her know her place, make her know that man is her superior in every
way, and it is her duty as well as privilege to look up to him."
And Josiah Allen crossed his left leg over his right one, as haughty
and over bearin' a-crossin' as I ever see in my life, and looked up
haughtily at the stove-pipe hole in the ceilin', and resoomed,
"But, as I wuz sayin' about her mit, the widder's, you know. That is
jest my idee of givin', equinomical, savin', jest as it should be."
"Yes," sez I, in a very dry axent, most as dry as my flat-iron, and that
wuz fairly hissin' hot. "She most probable had some man to advise her,
and to tell her what use the mit would be to support a big meetin'
house." Oh, how dry my axent wuz. It wuz the very dryest, and most irony
one I keep by me--and I keep dretful ironikle ones to use in cases of
necessity.
"Most probable," sez Josiah, "most probable she did." He thought I wuz
praisin' men up, and he acted tickled most to death.
"Yes, some man without any doubt, advised her, told her that some other
widder would lose one of hern, and give hers to the meetin' house, jest
the mate to hern. That is the way I look at it," sez he "and I mean to
mention that view of mine on this subject the very next time they take
up a subscription in the meetin' house and call on me."
But I turned and faced him then with the hot flat-iron in my hand, and
burnin' indignation in my eys, and sez I:
"If you mention that, Josiah Allen, in the meetin' house, or to any
livin' soul on earth, I'll part with you." And I would, if it wuz the
last move I ever made.
But I gin up from that minute the idea of gettin' anything out of Josiah
Allen for the fair. But I had some money of my own that I had got by
sellin' three pounds of geese feathers and a bushel of dried apples,
every feather picked by me, and every quarter of apple pared and peeled
and strung and dried by me. It all come to upwerds of seven dollars, and
I took every cent of it the next day out of my under bureau draw and
carried it to the meetin' house and gin it to the treasurer, and told
'em, at the request of the hull on 'em, jest how I got the money.
And so the hull of the female sisters did, as they handed in their
money, told jest how they come by it.
Sister Moss had seated three pairs of children's trouses for young Miss
Gowdy, her children are very hard on their trouses (slidin' down the
banesters and such). And young Miss Gowdy is onexperienced yet in
mendin', so the patches won't show. And Sister Moss had got forty-seven
cents for the job, and brung it all, every cent of it, with the
exception of three cents she kep out to buy peppermint drops with. She
has the colic fearful, and peppermint sometimes quells it.
Young Miss Gowdy wuz kep at home by some new, important business
(twins). But she sent thirty-two cents, every cent of money she could
rake and scrape, and that she had scrimped out of the money her husband
had gin her for a woosted dress. She had sot her heart on havin' a
ruffle round the bottom (he didn't give her enough for a overshirt),
but she concluded to make it plain, and sent the ruffle money.
And young Sister Serena Nott had picked geese for her sister, who
married a farmer up in Zoar. She had picked ten geese at two cents
apiece, and Serena that tender-hearted that it wuz like pickin' the
feathers offen her own back.
[Illustration: "SHE HAD PICKED TEN GEESE AT TWO CENTS APIECE."]
And then she is very timid, and skairt easy, and she owned up that while
the pickin' of the geese almost broke her heart, the pickin' of the
ganders almost skairt her to death. They wuz very high headed and
warlike, and though she put a stockin' over their heads, they would lift
'em right up, stockin' and all, and hiss, and act, and she said she
picked 'em at what seemed to her to be at the resk of her life.
But she loved the meetin' house, so she grin and bore it, as the sayin'
is, and she brung the hull of her hard earned money, and handed it over
to the treasurer, and everybody that is at all educated knows that twice
ten is twenty. She brung twenty cents.
Sister Grimshaw had, and she owned it right out and out, got four
dollars and fifty-three cents by sellin' butter on the sly. She had took
it out of the butter tub when Brother Grimshaw's back wuz turned, and
sold it to the neighbors for money at odd times through the year, and
besides gettin' her a dress cap (for which she wuz fairly sufferin'),
she gin the hull to the meetin' house.
There wuz quite dubersome looks all round the room when she handed in
the money and went right out, for she had a errent to the store.
And Sister Gowdy spoke up and said she didn't exactly like to use money
got in that way.
But Sister Lanfear sprunted up, and brung Jacob right into the argument,
and the Isrealites who borrowed jewelry of the Egyptians, and then she
brung up other old Bible characters, and held 'em up before us.
But still we some on us felt dubersome. And then another sister spoke up
and said the hull property belonged to Sister Grimshaw, every mite of
it, for he wuzn't worth a cent when he married her--she wuz the widder
Bettenger, and had a fine property. And Grimshaw hadn't begun to earn
what he had spent sense (he drinks). So, sez she, it all belongs to
Sister Grimshaw, by right.
Then the sisters all begin to look less dubersome. But I sez:
"Why don't she come out openly and take the money she wants for her own
use, and for church work, and charity?"
"Because he is so hard with her," sez Sister Lanfear, "and tears round
so, and cusses, and commits so much wickedness. He is willin' she should
dress well--wants her to--and live well. But he don't want her to spend
a cent on the meetin' house. He is a atheist, and he hain't willin' she
should help on the Cause of religeon. And if he knows of her givin'
any to the Cause, he makes the awfulest fuss, scolds, and swears, and
threatens her, so's she has been made sick by it, time and agin."
"Wall," sez I, "what business is it to him what she does with her own
money and her own property?"
I said this out full and square. But I confess that I did feel a little
dubersome in my own mind. I felt that she ort to have took it more
openly.
And Sister Grimshaw's sister Amelia, who lives with her (onmarried and
older than Sister Grimshaw, though it hain't spozed to be the case, for
she has hopes yet, and her age is kep). She had been and contoggled
three days and a half for Miss Elder Minkley, and got fifty cents a day
for contogglin'.
She had fixed over the waists of two old dresses, and contoggled a
old dress skirt so's it looked most as well as new. Amelia is a good
contoggler and a good Christian. And I shouldn't be surprised any day to
see her snatched away by some widower or bachelder of proper age. She
would be willin', so it is spozed.
Wall, Sister Henn kinder relented at the last, and brung two pairs of
fowls, all picked, and tied up by their legs. And we thought it wuz
kinder funny and providential that one Henn should bring four more
of'em.
But we wuz tickled, for we knew we could sell 'em to the grocer man at
Jonesville for upwerds of a dollar bill.
[Illustration: "SUBMIT TEWKSBURY DID BRING THAT PLATE."]
And Submit Tewksbury, what should that good little creeter bring, and we
couldn't any of us hardly believe our eyes at first, and think she could
part with it, but she did bring _that plate_. That pink edged, chiny
plate, with gilt sprigs, that she had used as a memorial of Samuel
Danker for so many years. Sot it up on the supper table and wept in
front of it.
Wall, she knew old china like that would bring a fancy price, and she
hadn't a cent of money she could bring, and she wanted to do her full
part towerds helpin' the meetin' house along--so she tore up her
memorial, a-weepin' on it for hours, so we spozed, and offered it up, a
burnt chiny offerin' to the Lord.
Wall, I am safe to say, that nothin' that had took place that day had
begun to affect us like that.
To see that good little creeter lookin' pale and considerble wan, hand
in that plate and never groan over it, nor nothin', not out loud she
didn't, but we spozed she kep up a silent groanin' inside of her, for we
all knew the feelin' she felt for the plate.
It affected all on us fearfully.
But the treasurer took it, and thanked her almost warmly, and Submit
merely sez, when she wuz thanked: "Oh, you are entirely welcome to it,
and I hope it will fetch a good price, so's to help the cause along."
And then she tried to smile a little mite. But I declare that smile wuz
more pitiful than tears would have been.
Everybody has seen smiles that seemed made up, more than half, of unshed
tears, and withered hopes, and disappointed dreams, etc., etc.
Submit's smile wuz of that variety, one of the very curiusest of 'em,
too. Wall, she gin, I guess, about two of 'em, and then she went and sot
down.
CHAPTER XXVII.
And now I am goin' to relate the very singulerist thing that ever
happened in Jonesville, or the world--although it is eppisodin' to tell
on it now, and also a-gettin' ahead of my story, and hitchin', as you
may say, my cart in front of my horse. But it has got to be told and I
don't know but I may as well tell it now as any time.
Mebby you won't believe it. I don't know as I should myself, if it wuz
told to me, that is, if it come through two or three. But any way it is
the livin' truth.
That very night as Submit Tewksbury sat alone at her supper table,
a-lookin' at that vacent spot on the table-cloth opposite to her, where
the plate laid for Samuel Danher had set for over twenty years, she
heard a knock at the door, and she got up hasty and wiped away her tears
and opened the door. A man stood there in the cold a-lookin' into the
warm cosy little room. He didn't say nothin', he acted strange. He gin
Submit a look that pierced clear to her heart (so they say). A look
that had in it the crystallized love and longin' of twenty years of
faithfulness and heart hunger and homesickness. It wuz a strange look.
Submit's heart begun to flutter, and her face grew red and then white,
and she sez in a little fine tremblin' voice,
"Who be you?"
And he sez,
"I am Samuel Danker."
And then they say she fainted dead away, and fell over the rockin'
chair, he not bein' near enough to ketch her.
And he brung her to on a burnt feather that fell out of the chair
cushion when she fell. There wuz a small hole in it, so they say, and
the feather oozed out.
I don't tell this for truth, I only say that _they say_ thus and so.
[Illustration: "I AM SAMUEL DANKER."]
But as to Samuel's return, that I can swear to, and so can Josiah. And
that they wuz married that very night of his return, that too can be
swore to. A old minister who lived next door to Submit--superanuated,
but life enough in him to marry 'em safe and sound, a-performin' the
ceremony.
It made a great stir in Jonesville, almost enormus.
But they wuz married safe enough, and happy as two gambolin' lambs, so
they say. Any way Submit looks ten years younger than she did, and I
don't know but more. I don't know but she looks eleven or twelve years
younger, and Samuel, why they say it is a perfect sight to see how happy
he looks, and how he has renewed his age.
The hull affair wuz very pleasin' to the Jonesvillians. Why there wuzn't
more'n one or two villians but what wuz fairly delighted by it, and they
wuz spozed to be envius.
And I drew severel morals from it, and drew 'em quite a good ways too,
over both religous and seckuler grounds.
One of the seekuler ones wuz drawed from her not settin' the table for
him that night, for the first time for twenty years, givin' away the
plate, and settin' on (with tears) only a stun chiny one for herself.
How true it is that if a female woman keeps dressed up slick, piles of
extra good cookin' on hand, and her house oncommon clean, and she sets
down in a rockin' chair, lookin' down the road for company.
[Illustration: "THEY DON'T COME!"] _They don't come!_
But let her on a cold mornin' leave her dishes onwashed, and her floors
onswept, and put on her husband's old coat over her meanest dress, and
go out (at his urgent request) to help him pick up apples before the
frost spiles 'em. She a-layin' out to cook up some vittles to put on to
her empty shelves when she goes into the house, she not a-dreamin' of
company at that time of day.
_They come!_
Another moral and a more religeus one. When folks set alone sheddin'
tears on their empty hands, that seem to 'em to be emptied of all
hope and happiness forever. Like es not some Divine Compensation is
a-standin' right on the door steps, ready to enter in and dwell with
'em.
Also that when Submit Tewksbury thought she had gin away for conscience'
sake, her dearest treasure, she had a dearer one gin to her--Samuel
Danker by name.
[Illustration: "THEY COME."]
Also I drew other ones of various sizes, needless to recapitulate, for
time is hastenin', and I have eppisoded too fur, and to resoom, and take
up agin on my finger the thread of my discourse, that I dropped in the
Methodist meetin' house at Jonesville, in front of the treasurer.
Wall, Submit brought the plate.
Sister Nash brought twenty-three cents all in pennys, tied up in the
corner of a old handkercif. She is dretful poor, but she had picked up
these here and there doin' little jobs for folks.
And we hadn't hardly the heart to take 'em, nor the heart to refuse
takin' 'em, she wuz so set on givin' 'em. And it wuz jest so with Mahala
Crane, Joe Cranes'es widder.
She, too, is poor, but a Christian, if there ever wuz one. She had made
five pair of overhawls for the clothin' store in Loontown, for which she
had received the princely revenue of fifty cents.
She handed the money over to the treasurer, and we wuz all on us
extremely worked upon and wrought up to see her do it, for she did it
with such a cheerful air. And her poor old calico dress she had on wuz
so thin and wore out, and her dingy alpaca shawl wuz thin to mendin',
and all darned in spots. We all felt that Mahala had ort to took the
money to get her a new dress.
[Illustration: "SISTER ARVILLY LANFRAR, CANVASSIN' FOR A BOOK."]
But we dasted none on us to say so to her. I wouldn't have been the one to
tell her that for a dollar bill, she seemed to be so happy a-givin' her
part towerds the fair, and for the good of the meetin' house she loved.
Wall, Sister Meachim had earned two dollars above her wages--she is a
millinner by perswasion, and works at a millinner's shop in Jonesville.
She had earned the two dollars by stayin' and workin' nights after the
day's work wuz done.
And Sister Arvilly Lanfear had earned three dollars and twenty-eight
cents by canvassin' for a book. The name of the book wuz: "The Wild,
Wicked, and Warlike Deeds of Man."
And Arvilly said she had took solid comfort a-sellin' it, though she
had to wade through snow and slush half way up to her knees some of the
time, a-trailin' round from house to house a-takin' orders fer it. She
said she loved to sell a book that wuz full of truth from the front page
to the back bindin'.
As for me I wouldn't gin a cent for the book, and I remember we had
some words when she come to our house with it. I told her plain that I
wouldn't buy no book that belittled my companion, or tried to--sez I,
"Arvilly, men are _jest_ as good as wimmen and no better, not a mite
better."
And Arvilly didn't like it, but I made it up to her in other ways. I
gin her some lamb's wool yarn for a pair of stockin's most immegictly
afterwerds, and a half bushel of but'nuts. She is dretful fond of
but'nuts.
[Illustration: "OLD MISS BALCH."]
Wall, Sister Shelmadine had sold ten pounds of maple sugar, and brought
the worth on it.
And Sister Henzy brung four dollars and a half, her husband had gin her
for another purpose, but she took it for this, and thought there wuzn't
no harm in it, as she laid out to go without the four dollars and a
halt's worth. It was fine shoes he had gin the money for, and she
calculated to make the old ones do.
And Sister Henzy's mother, old Miss Balch, she is eighty-three years
old, and has inflamatery rheumatiz in her hands, which makes 'em all
swelled up and painful. But Sister Henzy said her mother had knit three
pairs of fringed mittens (the hardest work for her hands she could have
laid holt of, and which must have hurt her fearful). But Miss Henzy said
a neighbor had offered her five dollars fer the three pairs, and so she
felt it wuz her duty to knit 'em, to help the fair along. She is a very
strong Methodist, and loved to forwerd the interests of Zion.
She wuz goin' to give every cent of the money to the meetin' house, so
Sister Henzy said, all but ten cents, that she _had_ to have to get
Pond's Extract with, to bathe her hands. They wuz in a fearful state. We
all felt bad for old Miss Balch, and I don't believe there wuz a woman
there but what gin her some different receipt fer helpin' her hands,
besides sympathy, lots and lots of it, and pity.
Wall, Sister Sypher'ses husband is clost, very clost with her. She don't
have anythin' to give, only her labor, as well off as they be. And now
he wuz so wrapped up in that buzz saw mill business that she wouldn't
have dasted to approach him any way, that is, to ask him for a cent.
Wall, what should that good little creeter do but gin all the money she
had earned and saved durin' the past year or two, and had laid by for
emergincies or bunnets.
She had got over two dollars and seventy-five cents, which she handed
right over to the treasurer of the fair to get materials for fancy work.
When they wuz got she proposed to knit three pairs of men's socks out
of zephyr woosted, and she said she was goin' to try to pick enough
strawberrys to buy a pair of the socks for Deacon Sypher. She said it
would be a comfort for her to do it, for they would be so soft for the
Deacon's feet.
Wall, Sister Gowdy wuz the last one to gin in dress gin to her by her
uncle out to the Ohio. It wuz gin her to mourn for her mother-in-law in.
And what should that good, willin' creeter do but bring that dress and
gin it to the fair to sell.
We hated to take it, we hated to like dogs, for we knew Sister Gowdy
needed it.
But she would make us take it; she said "if her Mother Gowdy wuz alive,
she would say to her,
"Sarah Ann, I'd ruther not be mourned for in bombazeen than to have the
dear old meetin' house in Jonesville go to destruction. Sell the dress
and mourn fer me in a black calico."
_That_ Sister Gowdy said would be, she knew, what Mother Gowdy would say
to her if she wuz alive.
And we couldn't dispute Sarah Ann, for we all knew that old Miss Gowdy
worked for the meetin' house as long as she could work for anything.
She loved the Methodist meetin' house better than she loved husband or
children, though she wuz a good wife and mother. She died with cramps,
and her last request wuz to have this hymn sung to her funeral:
[Illustration: "I LOVE THY KINGDOM, LORD."]
"I love thy kingdom, Lord,
The house of thine abode,
The church our dear Redeemer bought
With His most precious blood."
The quire all loved Mother Gowdy, and sung it accordin' to her wishes,
and broke down, I well remember, at the third verse--
"For her my tears shall fall,
For her my prayers ascend,
For her my toil and life be given,
Till life and toil shall end."
The quire broke down, and the minister himself shed tears to think how
she had carried out her belief all her life, and died with the thought
of the church she loved on her heart and its name on her lips.
Wall, the dress would sell at the least calculation for eight dollars;
the storekeeper had offered that, but Sarah Ann hoped it would bring ten
to the fair.
It wuz a cross to Sarah Ann, so we could see, for she had loved Mother
Gowdy dretful well, and loved the uncle who had gin it to her, and she
hadn't a nice black dress to her back. But she said she hadn't lived
with Mother Gowdy twenty years for nothin', and see how she would always
sacrifice anything and everything but principle for the good of the
meetin' house.
Sister Gowdy is a good-hearted woman, and we all on us honored her for
this act of hern, though we felt it wuz almost too much for her to do
it.
Wall, Sister Gowdy wuz the last one to gin in her testimony, and havin'
got through relatin' our experiences we proceeded to business and
paperin'.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
Sister Sylvester Bobbet and I had been voted on es the ones best
qualified to lead off in the arjeous and hazerdous enterprize.
And though we deeply felt the honor they wuz a-heapin' on to us, yet
es it hes been, time and agin, in other high places in the land, if it
hadn't been fer duty that wuz a-grippin' holt of us, we would gladly
have shirked out of it and gin the honor to some humble but worthy
constituent.
Fer the lengths of paper wuz extremely long, the ceilin' fearfully high,
and oh! how lofty and tottlin' the barells looked to us. And we both on
us, Sister Sylvester Bobbet and I, had giddy and dizzy spells right on
the ground, let alone bein' perched up on barells, a-liftin' our arms up
fur, fur beyond the strength of their sockets.
[Illustration: "WE FELT NERVED UP TO DO OUR BEST."]
But duty wuz a-callin' us, and the other wimmen also, and it wuzn't for
me, nor Sister Sylvester Bobbet to wave her nor them off, or shirk out
of hazerdous and dangerous jobs when the good of the Methodist Meetin'
House wuz at the Bay.