The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 33 - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Now the history says this page was very sharp and quick-witted; and eager
to serve his lord and lady he set off very willingly for Sancho's
village. Before he entered it he observed a number of women washing in a
brook, and asked them if they could tell him whether there lived there a
woman of the name of Teresa Panza, wife of one Sancho Panza, squire to a
knight called Don Quixote of La Mancha. At the question a young girl who
was washing stood up and said, "Teresa Panza is my mother, and that
Sancho is my father, and that knight is our master."
"Well then, miss," said the page, "come and show me where your mother is,
for I bring her a letter and a present from your father."
"That I will with all my heart, senor," said the girl, who seemed to be
about fourteen, more or less; and leaving the clothes she was washing to
one of her companions, and without putting anything on her head or feet,
for she was bare-legged and had her hair hanging about her, away she
skipped in front of the page's horse, saying, "Come, your worship, our
house is at the entrance of the town, and my mother is there, sorrowful
enough at not having had any news of my father this ever so long."
"Well," said the page, "I am bringing her such good news that she will
have reason to thank God."
And then, skipping, running, and capering, the girl reached the town, but
before going into the house she called out at the door, "Come out, mother
Teresa, come out, come out; here's a gentleman with letters and other
things from my good father." At these words her mother Teresa Panza came
out spinning a bundle of flax, in a grey petticoat (so short was it one
would have fancied "they to her shame had cut it short"), a grey bodice
of the same stuff, and a smock. She was not very old, though plainly past
forty, strong, healthy, vigorous, and sun-dried; and seeing her daughter
and the page on horseback, she exclaimed, "What's this, child? What
gentleman is this?"
"A servant of my lady, Dona Teresa Panza," replied the page; and suiting
the action to the word he flung himself off his horse, and with great
humility advanced to kneel before the lady Teresa, saying, "Let me kiss
your hand, Senora Dona Teresa, as the lawful and only wife of Senor Don
Sancho Panza, rightful governor of the island of Barataria."
"Ah, senor, get up, do that," said Teresa; "for I'm not a bit of a court
lady, but only a poor country woman, the daughter of a clodcrusher, and
the wife of a squire-errant and not of any governor at all."
"You are," said the page, "the most worthy wife of a most arch-worthy
governor; and as a proof of what I say accept this letter and this
present;" and at the same time he took out of his pocket a string of
coral beads with gold clasps, and placed it on her neck, and said, "This
letter is from his lordship the governor, and the other as well as these
coral beads from my lady the duchess, who sends me to your worship."
Teresa stood lost in astonishment, and her daughter just as much, and the
girl said, "May I die but our master Don Quixote's at the bottom of this;
he must have given father the government or county he so often promised
him."
"That is the truth," said the page; "for it is through Senor Don Quixote
that Senor Sancho is now governor of the island of Barataria, as will be
seen by this letter."
"Will your worship read it to me, noble sir?" said Teresa; "for though I
can spin I can't read, not a scrap."
"Nor I either," said Sanchica; "but wait a bit, and I'll go and fetch
some one who can read it, either the curate himself or the bachelor
Samson Carrasco, and they'll come gladly to hear any news of my father."
"There is no need to fetch anybody," said the page; "for though I can't
spin I can read, and I'll read it;" and so he read it through, but as it
has been already given it is not inserted here; and then he took out the
other one from the duchess, which ran as follows:
Friend Teresa,--Your husband Sancho's good qualities, of heart as well as
of head, induced and compelled me to request my husband the duke to give
him the government of one of his many islands. I am told he governs like
a gerfalcon, of which I am very glad, and my lord the duke, of course,
also; and I am very thankful to heaven that I have not made a mistake in
choosing him for that same government; for I would have Senora Teresa
know that a good governor is hard to find in this world and may God make
me as good as Sancho's way of governing. Herewith I send you, my dear, a
string of coral beads with gold clasps; I wish they were Oriental pearls;
but "he who gives thee a bone does not wish to see thee dead;" a time
will come when we shall become acquainted and meet one another, but God
knows the future. Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and tell her from
me to hold herself in readiness, for I mean to make a high match for her
when she least expects it. They tell me there are big acorns in your
village; send me a couple of dozen or so, and I shall value them greatly
as coming from your hand; and write to me at length to assure me of your
health and well-being; and if there be anything you stand in need of, it
is but to open your mouth, and that shall be the measure; and so God keep
you.
From this place. Your loving friend, THE DUCHESS.
"Ah, what a good, plain, lowly lady!" said Teresa when she heard the
letter; "that I may be buried with ladies of that sort, and not the
gentlewomen we have in this town, that fancy because they are gentlewomen
the wind must not touch them, and go to church with as much airs as if
they were queens, no less, and seem to think they are disgraced if they
look at a farmer's wife! And see here how this good lady, for all she's a
duchess, calls me 'friend,' and treats me as if I was her equal--and
equal may I see her with the tallest church-tower in La Mancha! And as
for the acorns, senor, I'll send her ladyship a peck and such big ones
that one might come to see them as a show and a wonder. And now,
Sanchica, see that the gentleman is comfortable; put up his horse, and
get some eggs out of the stable, and cut plenty of bacon, and let's give
him his dinner like a prince; for the good news he has brought, and his
own bonny face deserve it all; and meanwhile I'll run out and give the
neighbours the news of our good luck, and father curate, and Master
Nicholas the barber, who are and always have been such friends of thy
father's."
"That I will, mother," said Sanchica; "but mind, you must give me half of
that string; for I don't think my lady the duchess could have been so
stupid as to send it all to you."
"It is all for thee, my child," said Teresa; "but let me wear it round my
neck for a few days; for verily it seems to make my heart glad."
"You will be glad too," said the page, "when you see the bundle there is
in this portmanteau, for it is a suit of the finest cloth, that the
governor only wore one day out hunting and now sends, all for Senora
Sanchica."
"May he live a thousand years," said Sanchica, "and the bearer as many,
nay two thousand, if needful."
With this Teresa hurried out of the house with the letters, and with the
string of beads round her neck, and went along thrumming the letters as
if they were a tambourine, and by chance coming across the curate and
Samson Carrasco she began capering and saying, "None of us poor now,
faith! We've got a little government! Ay, let the finest fine lady tackle
me, and I'll give her a setting down!"
"What's all this, Teresa Panza," said they; "what madness is this, and
what papers are those?"
"The madness is only this," said she, "that these are the letters of
duchesses and governors, and these I have on my neck are fine coral
beads, with ave-marias and paternosters of beaten gold, and I am a
governess."
"God help us," said the curate, "we don't understand you, Teresa, or know
what you are talking about."
"There, you may see it yourselves," said Teresa, and she handed them the
letters.
The curate read them out for Samson Carrasco to hear, and Samson and he
regarded one another with looks of astonishment at what they had read,
and the bachelor asked who had brought the letters. Teresa in reply bade
them come with her to her house and they would see the messenger, a most
elegant youth, who had brought another present which was worth as much
more. The curate took the coral beads from her neck and examined them
again and again, and having satisfied himself as to their fineness he
fell to wondering afresh, and said, "By the gown I wear I don't know what
to say or think of these letters and presents; on the one hand I can see
and feel the fineness of these coral beads, and on the other I read how a
duchess sends to beg for a couple of dozen of acorns."
"Square that if you can," said Carrasco; "well, let's go and see the
messenger, and from him we'll learn something about this mystery that has
turned up."
They did so, and Teresa returned with them. They found the page sifting a
little barley for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasher of bacon to be
paved with eggs for his dinner. His looks and his handsome apparel
pleased them both greatly; and after they had saluted him courteously,
and he them, Samson begged him to give them his news, as well of Don
Quixote as of Sancho Panza, for, he said, though they had read the
letters from Sancho and her ladyship the duchess, they were still puzzled
and could not make out what was meant by Sancho's government, and above
all of an island, when all or most of those in the Mediterranean belonged
to his Majesty.
To this the page replied, "As to Senor Sancho Panza's being a governor
there is no doubt whatever; but whether it is an island or not that he
governs, with that I have nothing to do; suffice it that it is a town of
more than a thousand inhabitants; with regard to the acorns I may tell
you my lady the duchess is so unpretending and unassuming that, not to
speak of sending to beg for acorns from a peasant woman, she has been
known to send to ask for the loan of a comb from one of her neighbours;
for I would have your worships know that the ladies of Aragon, though
they are just as illustrious, are not so punctilious and haughty as the
Castilian ladies; they treat people with greater familiarity."
In the middle of this conversation Sanchica came in with her skirt full
of eggs, and said she to the page, "Tell me, senor, does my father wear
trunk-hose since he has been governor?"
"I have not noticed," said the page; "but no doubt he wears them."
"Ah! my God!" said Sanchica, "what a sight it must be to see my father in
tights! Isn't it odd that ever since I was born I have had a longing to
see my father in trunk-hose?"
"As things go you will see that if you live," said the page; "by God he
is in the way to take the road with a sunshade if the government only
lasts him two months more."
The curate and the bachelor could see plainly enough that the page spoke
in a waggish vein; but the fineness of the coral beads, and the hunting
suit that Sancho sent (for Teresa had already shown it to them) did away
with the impression; and they could not help laughing at Sanchica's wish,
and still more when Teresa said, "Senor curate, look about if there's
anybody here going to Madrid or Toledo, to buy me a hooped petticoat, a
proper fashionable one of the best quality; for indeed and indeed I must
do honour to my husband's government as well as I can; nay, if I am put
to it and have to, I'll go to Court and set a coach like all the world;
for she who has a governor for her husband may very well have one and
keep one."
"And why not, mother!" said Sanchica; "would to God it were to-day
instead of to-morrow, even though they were to say when they saw me
seated in the coach with my mother, 'See that rubbish, that
garlic-stuffed fellow's daughter, how she goes stretched at her ease in a
coach as if she was a she-pope!' But let them tramp through the mud, and
let me go in my coach with my feet off the ground. Bad luck to backbiters
all over the world; 'let me go warm and the people may laugh.' Do I say
right, mother?"
"To be sure you do, my child," said Teresa; "and all this good luck, and
even more, my good Sancho foretold me; and thou wilt see, my daughter, he
won't stop till he has made me a countess; for to make a beginning is
everything in luck; and as I have heard thy good father say many a time
(for besides being thy father he's the father of proverbs too), 'When
they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; when they offer thee a
government, take it; when they would give thee a county, seize it; when
they say, "Here, here!" to thee with something good, swallow it.' Oh no!
go to sleep, and don't answer the strokes of good fortune and the lucky
chances that are knocking at the door of your house!"
"And what do I care," added Sanchica, "whether anybody says when he sees
me holding my head up, 'The dog saw himself in hempen breeches,' and the
rest of it?"
Hearing this the curate said, "I do believe that all this family of the
Panzas are born with a sackful of proverbs in their insides, every one of
them; I never saw one of them that does not pour them out at all times
and on all occasions."
"That is true," said the page, "for Senor Governor Sancho utters them at
every turn; and though a great many of them are not to the purpose, still
they amuse one, and my lady the duchess and the duke praise them highly."
"Then you still maintain that all this about Sancho's government is true,
senor," said the bachelor, "and that there actually is a duchess who
sends him presents and writes to him? Because we, although we have
handled the present and read the letters, don't believe it and suspect it
to be something in the line of our fellow-townsman Don Quixote, who
fancies that everything is done by enchantment; and for this reason I am
almost ready to say that I'd like to touch and feel your worship to see
whether you are a mere ambassador of the imagination or a man of flesh
and blood."
"All I know, sirs," replied the page, "is that I am a real ambassador,
and that Senor Sancho Panza is governor as a matter of fact, and that my
lord and lady the duke and duchess can give, and have given him this same
government, and that I have heard the said Sancho Panza bears himself
very stoutly therein; whether there be any enchantment in all this or
not, it is for your worships to settle between you; for that's all I know
by the oath I swear, and that is by the life of my parents whom I have
still alive, and love dearly."
"It may be so," said the bachelor; "but dubitat Augustinus."
"Doubt who will," said the page; "what I have told you is the truth, and
that will always rise above falsehood as oil above water; if not operibus
credite, et non verbis. Let one of you come with me, and he will see with
his eyes what he does not believe with his ears."
"It's for me to make that trip," said Sanchica; "take me with you, senor,
behind you on your horse; for I'll go with all my heart to see my
father."
"Governors' daughters," said the page, "must not travel along the roads
alone, but accompanied by coaches and litters and a great number of
attendants."
"By God," said Sanchica, "I can go just as well mounted on a she-ass as
in a coach; what a dainty lass you must take me for!"
"Hush, girl," said Teresa; "you don't know what you're talking about; the
gentleman is quite right, for 'as the time so the behaviour;' when it was
Sancho it was 'Sancha;' when it is governor it's 'senora;' I don't know
if I'm right."
"Senora Teresa says more than she is aware of," said the page; "and now
give me something to eat and let me go at once, for I mean to return this
evening."
"Come and do penance with me," said the curate at this; "for Senora
Teresa has more will than means to serve so worthy a guest."
The page refused, but had to consent at last for his own sake; and the
curate took him home with him very gladly, in order to have an
opportunity of questioning him at leisure about Don Quixote and his
doings. The bachelor offered to write the letters in reply for Teresa;
but she did not care to let him mix himself up in her affairs, for she
thought him somewhat given to joking; and so she gave a cake and a couple
of eggs to a young acolyte who was a penman, and he wrote for her two
letters, one for her husband and the other for the duchess, dictated out
of her own head, which are not the worst inserted in this great history,
as will be seen farther on.
CHAPTER LI.
OF THE PROGRESS OF SANCHO'S GOVERNMENT, AND OTHER SUCH ENTERTAINING
MATTERS
Day came after the night of the governor's round; a night which the
head-carver passed without sleeping, so were his thoughts of the face and
air and beauty of the disguised damsel, while the majordomo spent what
was left of it in writing an account to his lord and lady of all Sancho
said and did, being as much amazed at his sayings as at his doings, for
there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity in all his words and
deeds. The senor governor got up, and by Doctor Pedro Recio's directions
they made him break his fast on a little conserve and four sups of cold
water, which Sancho would have readily exchanged for a piece of bread and
a bunch of grapes; but seeing there was no help for it, he submitted with
no little sorrow of heart and discomfort of stomach; Pedro Recio having
persuaded him that light and delicate diet enlivened the wits, and that
was what was most essential for persons placed in command and in
responsible situations, where they have to employ not only the bodily
powers but those of the mind also.
By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure hunger, and hunger
so keen that in his heart he cursed the government, and even him who had
given it to him; however, with his hunger and his conserve he undertook
to deliver judgments that day, and the first thing that came before him
was a question that was submitted to him by a stranger, in the presence
of the majordomo and the other attendants, and it was in these words:
"Senor, a large river separated two districts of one and the same
lordship--will your worship please to pay attention, for the case is an
important and a rather knotty one? Well then, on this river there was a
bridge, and at one end of it a gallows, and a sort of tribunal, where
four judges commonly sat to administer the law which the lord of river,
bridge and the lordship had enacted, and which was to this effect, 'If
anyone crosses by this bridge from one side to the other he shall declare
on oath where he is going to and with what object; and if he swears
truly, he shall be allowed to pass, but if falsely, he shall be put to
death for it by hanging on the gallows erected there, without any
remission.' Though the law and its severe penalty were known, many
persons crossed, but in their declarations it was easy to see at once
they were telling the truth, and the judges let them pass free. It
happened, however, that one man, when they came to take his declaration,
swore and said that by the oath he took he was going to die upon that
gallows that stood there, and nothing else. The judges held a
consultation over the oath, and they said, 'If we let this man pass free
he has sworn falsely, and by the law he ought to die; but if we hang him,
as he swore he was going to die on that gallows, and therefore swore the
truth, by the same law he ought to go free.' It is asked of your worship,
senor governor, what are the judges to do with this man? For they are
still in doubt and perplexity; and having heard of your worship's acute
and exalted intellect, they have sent me to entreat your worship on their
behalf to give your opinion on this very intricate and puzzling case."
To this Sancho made answer, "Indeed those gentlemen the judges that send
you to me might have spared themselves the trouble, for I have more of
the obtuse than the acute in me; but repeat the case over again, so that
I may understand it, and then perhaps I may be able to hit the point."
The querist repeated again and again what he had said before, and then
Sancho said, "It seems to me I can set the matter right in a moment, and
in this way; the man swears that he is going to die upon the gallows; but
if he dies upon it, he has sworn the truth, and by the law enacted
deserves to go free and pass over the bridge; but if they don't hang him,
then he has sworn falsely, and by the same law deserves to be hanged."
"It is as the senor governor says," said the messenger; "and as regards a
complete comprehension of the case, there is nothing left to desire or
hesitate about."
"Well then I say," said Sancho, "that of this man they should let pass
the part that has sworn truly, and hang the part that has lied; and in
this way the conditions of the passage will be fully complied with."
"But then, senor governor," replied the querist, "the man will have to be
divided into two parts; and if he is divided of course he will die; and
so none of the requirements of the law will be carried out, and it is
absolutely necessary to comply with it."
"Look here, my good sir," said Sancho; "either I'm a numskull or else
there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for his living and
passing over the bridge; for if the truth saves him the falsehood equally
condemns him; and that being the case it is my opinion you should say to
the gentlemen who sent you to me that as the arguments for condemning him
and for absolving him are exactly balanced, they should let him pass
freely, as it is always more praiseworthy to do good than to do evil;
this I would give signed with my name if I knew how to sign; and what I
have said in this case is not out of my own head, but one of the many
precepts my master Don Quixote gave me the night before I left to become
governor of this island, that came into my mind, and it was this, that
when there was any doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to
mercy; and it is God's will that I should recollect it now, for it fits
this case as if it was made for it."
"That is true," said the majordomo; "and I maintain that Lycurgus
himself, who gave laws to the Lacedemonians, could not have pronounced a
better decision than the great Panza has given; let the morning's
audience close with this, and I will see that the senor governor has
dinner entirely to his liking."
"That's all I ask for--fair play," said Sancho; "give me my dinner, and
then let it rain cases and questions on me, and I'll despatch them in a
twinkling."
The majordomo kept his word, for he felt it against his conscience to
kill so wise a governor by hunger; particularly as he intended to have
done with him that same night, playing off the last joke he was
commissioned to practise upon him.
It came to pass, then, that after he had dined that day, in opposition to
the rules and aphorisms of Doctor Tirteafuera, as they were taking away
the cloth there came a courier with a letter from Don Quixote for the
governor. Sancho ordered the secretary to read it to himself, and if
there was nothing in it that demanded secrecy to read it aloud. The
secretary did so, and after he had skimmed the contents he said, "It may
well be read aloud, for what Senor Don Quixote writes to your worship
deserves to be printed or written in letters of gold, and it is as
follows."
DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA'S LETTER TO SANCHO PANZA, GOVERNOR OF THE ISLAND
OF BARATARIA.
When I was expecting to hear of thy stupidities and blunders, friend
Sancho, I have received intelligence of thy displays of good sense, for
which I give special thanks to heaven that can raise the poor from the
dunghill and of fools to make wise men. They tell me thou dost govern as
if thou wert a man, and art a man as if thou wert a beast, so great is
the humility wherewith thou dost comport thyself. But I would have thee
bear in mind, Sancho, that very often it is fitting and necessary for the
authority of office to resist the humility of the heart; for the seemly
array of one who is invested with grave duties should be such as they
require and not measured by what his own humble tastes may lead him to
prefer. Dress well; a stick dressed up does not look like a stick; I do
not say thou shouldst wear trinkets or fine raiment, or that being a
judge thou shouldst dress like a soldier, but that thou shouldst array
thyself in the apparel thy office requires, and that at the same time it
be neat and handsome. To win the good-will of the people thou governest
there are two things, among others, that thou must do; one is to be civil
to all (this, however, I told thee before), and the other to take care
that food be abundant, for there is nothing that vexes the heart of the
poor more than hunger and high prices. Make not many proclamations; but
those thou makest take care that they be good ones, and above all that
they be observed and carried out; for proclamations that are not observed
are the same as if they did not exist; nay, they encourage the idea that
the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them had not the
power to enforce them; and laws that threaten and are not enforced come
to be like the log, the king of the frogs, that frightened them at first,
but that in time they despised and mounted upon. Be a father to virtue
and a stepfather to vice. Be not always strict, nor yet always lenient,
but observe a mean between these two extremes, for in that is the aim of
wisdom. Visit the gaols, the slaughter-houses, and the market-places; for
the presence of the governor is of great importance in such places; it
comforts the prisoners who are in hopes of a speedy release, it is the
bugbear of the butchers who have then to give just weight, and it is the
terror of the market-women for the same reason. Let it not be seen that
thou art (even if perchance thou art, which I do not believe) covetous, a
follower of women, or a glutton; for when the people and those that have
dealings with thee become aware of thy special weakness they will bring
their batteries to bear upon thee in that quarter, till they have brought
thee down to the depths of perdition. Consider and reconsider, con and
con over again the advices and the instructions I gave thee before thy
departure hence to thy government, and thou wilt see that in them, if
thou dost follow them, thou hast a help at hand that will lighten for
thee the troubles and difficulties that beset governors at every step.
Write to thy lord and lady and show thyself grateful to them, for
ingratitude is the daughter of pride, and one of the greatest sins we
know of; and he who is grateful to those who have been good to him shows
that he will be so to God also who has bestowed and still bestows so many
blessings upon him.