The History of Don Quixote, Volume II., Complete - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
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To this the duchess said, "Sancho, my friend, mind what you are saying;
it seems you could not have seen the earth, but only the men walking on
it; for if the earth looked to you like a grain of mustard seed, and each
man like a hazel nut, one man alone would have covered the whole earth."
"That is true," said Sancho, "but for all that I got a glimpse of a bit
of one side of it, and saw it all."
"Take care, Sancho," said the duchess, "with a bit of one side one does
not see the whole of what one looks at."
"I don't understand that way of looking at things," said Sancho; "I only
know that your ladyship will do well to bear in mind that as we were
flying by enchantment so I might have seen the whole earth and all the
men by enchantment whatever way I looked; and if you won't believe this,
no more will you believe that, uncovering myself nearly to the eyebrows,
I saw myself so close to the sky that there was not a palm and a half
between me and it; and by everything that I can swear by, senora, it is
mighty great! And it so happened we came by where the seven goats are,
and by God and upon my soul, as in my youth I was a goatherd in my own
country, as soon as I saw them I felt a longing to be among them for a
little, and if I had not given way to it I think I'd have burst. So I
come and take, and what do I do? without saying anything to anybody, not
even to my master, softly and quietly I got down from Clavileno and
amused myself with the goats--which are like violets, like flowers--for
nigh three-quarters of an hour; and Clavileno never stirred or moved from
one spot."
"And while the good Sancho was amusing himself with the goats," said the
duke, "how did Senor Don Quixote amuse himself?"
To which Don Quixote replied, "As all these things and such like
occurrences are out of the ordinary course of nature, it is no wonder
that Sancho says what he does; for my own part I can only say that I did
not uncover my eyes either above or below, nor did I see sky or earth or
sea or shore. It is true I felt that I was passing through the region of
the air, and even that I touched that of fire; but that we passed farther
I cannot believe; for the region of fire being between the heaven of the
moon and the last region of the air, we could not have reached that
heaven where the seven goats Sancho speaks of are without being burned;
and as we were not burned, either Sancho is lying or Sancho is dreaming."
"I am neither lying nor dreaming," said Sancho; "only ask me the tokens
of those same goats, and you'll see by that whether I'm telling the truth
or not."
"Tell us them then, Sancho," said the duchess.
"Two of them," said Sancho, "are green, two blood-red, two blue, and one
a mixture of all colours."
"An odd sort of goat, that," said the duke; "in this earthly region of
ours we have no such colours; I mean goats of such colours."
"That's very plain," said Sancho; "of course there must be a difference
between the goats of heaven and the goats of the earth."
"Tell me, Sancho," said the duke, "did you see any he-goat among those
goats?"
"No, senor," said Sancho; "but I have heard say that none ever passed the
horns of the moon."
They did not care to ask him anything more about his journey, for they
saw he was in the vein to go rambling all over the heavens giving an
account of everything that went on there, without having ever stirred
from the garden. Such, in short, was the end of the adventure of the
Distressed Duenna, which gave the duke and duchess laughing matter not
only for the time being, but for all their lives, and Sancho something to
talk about for ages, if he lived so long; but Don Quixote, coming close
to his ear, said to him, "Sancho, as you would have us believe what you
saw in heaven, I require you to believe me as to what I saw in the cave
of Montesinos; I say no more."
CHAPTER XLII.
OF THE COUNSELS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA BEFORE HE SET OUT TO
GOVERN THE ISLAND, TOGETHER WITH OTHER WELL-CONSIDERED MATTERS
The duke and duchess were so well pleased with the successful and droll
result of the adventure of the Distressed One, that they resolved to
carry on the joke, seeing what a fit subject they had to deal with for
making it all pass for reality. So having laid their plans and given
instructions to their servants and vassals how to behave to Sancho in his
government of the promised island, the next day, that following
Clavileno's flight, the duke told Sancho to prepare and get ready to go
and be governor, for his islanders were already looking out for him as
for the showers of May.
Sancho made him an obeisance, and said, "Ever since I came down from
heaven, and from the top of it beheld the earth, and saw how little it
is, the great desire I had to be a governor has been partly cooled in me;
for what is there grand in being ruler on a grain of mustard seed, or
what dignity or authority in governing half a dozen men about as big as
hazel nuts; for, so far as I could see, there were no more on the whole
earth? If your lordship would be so good as to give me ever so small a
bit of heaven, were it no more than half a league, I'd rather have it
than the best island in the world."
"Recollect, Sancho," said the duke, "I cannot give a bit of heaven, no
not so much as the breadth of my nail, to anyone; rewards and favours of
that sort are reserved for God alone. What I can give I give you, and
that is a real, genuine island, compact, well proportioned, and
uncommonly fertile and fruitful, where, if you know how to use your
opportunities, you may, with the help of the world's riches, gain those
of heaven."
"Well then," said Sancho, "let the island come; and I'll try and be such
a governor, that in spite of scoundrels I'll go to heaven; and it's not
from any craving to quit my own humble condition or better myself, but
from the desire I have to try what it tastes like to be a governor."
"If you once make trial of it, Sancho," said the duke, "you'll eat your
fingers off after the government, so sweet a thing is it to command and
be obeyed. Depend upon it when your master comes to be emperor (as he
will beyond a doubt from the course his affairs are taking), it will be
no easy matter to wrest the dignity from him, and he will be sore and
sorry at heart to have been so long without becoming one."
"Senor," said Sancho, "it is my belief it's a good thing to be in
command, if it's only over a drove of cattle."
"May I be buried with you, Sancho," said the duke, "but you know
everything; I hope you will make as good a governor as your sagacity
promises; and that is all I have to say; and now remember to-morrow is
the day you must set out for the government of the island, and this
evening they will provide you with the proper attire for you to wear, and
all things requisite for your departure."
"Let them dress me as they like," said Sancho; "however I'm dressed I'll
be Sancho Panza."
"That's true," said the duke; "but one's dress must be suited to the
office or rank one holds; for it would not do for a jurist to dress like
a soldier, or a soldier like a priest. You, Sancho, shall go partly as a
lawyer, partly as a captain, for, in the island I am giving you, arms are
needed as much as letters, and letters as much as arms."
"Of letters I know but little," said Sancho, "for I don't even know the A
B C; but it is enough for me to have the Christus in my memory to be a
good governor. As for arms, I'll handle those they give me till I drop,
and then, God be my help!"
"With so good a memory," said the duke, "Sancho cannot go wrong in
anything."
Here Don Quixote joined them; and learning what passed, and how soon
Sancho was to go to his government, he with the duke's permission took
him by the hand, and retired to his room with him for the purpose of
giving him advice as to how he was to demean himself in his office. As
soon as they had entered the chamber he closed the door after him, and
almost by force made Sancho sit down beside him, and in a quiet tone thus
addressed him: "I give infinite thanks to heaven, friend Sancho, that,
before I have met with any good luck, fortune has come forward to meet
thee. I who counted upon my good fortune to discharge the recompense of
thy services, find myself still waiting for advancement, while thou,
before the time, and contrary to all reasonable expectation, seest
thyself blessed in the fulfillment of thy desires. Some will bribe, beg,
solicit, rise early, entreat, persist, without attaining the object of
their suit; while another comes, and without knowing why or wherefore,
finds himself invested with the place or office so many have sued for;
and here it is that the common saying, 'There is good luck as well as bad
luck in suits,' applies. Thou, who, to my thinking, art beyond all doubt
a dullard, without early rising or night watching or taking any trouble,
with the mere breath of knight-errantry that has breathed upon thee,
seest thyself without more ado governor of an island, as though it were a
mere matter of course. This I say, Sancho, that thou attribute not the
favour thou hast received to thine own merits, but give thanks to heaven
that disposes matters beneficently, and secondly thanks to the great
power the profession of knight-errantry contains in itself. With a heart,
then, inclined to believe what I have said to thee, attend, my son, to
thy Cato here who would counsel thee and be thy polestar and guide to
direct and pilot thee to a safe haven out of this stormy sea wherein thou
art about to ingulf thyself; for offices and great trusts are nothing
else but a mighty gulf of troubles.
"First of all, my son, thou must fear God, for in the fear of him is
wisdom, and being wise thou canst not err in aught.
"Secondly, thou must keep in view what thou art, striving to know
thyself, the most difficult thing to know that the mind can imagine. If
thou knowest thyself, it will follow thou wilt not puff thyself up like
the frog that strove to make himself as large as the ox; if thou dost,
the recollection of having kept pigs in thine own country will serve as
the ugly feet for the wheel of thy folly."
"That's the truth," said Sancho; "but that was when I was a boy;
afterwards when I was something more of a man it was geese I kept, not
pigs. But to my thinking that has nothing to do with it; for all who are
governors don't come of a kingly stock."
"True," said Don Quixote, "and for that reason those who are not of noble
origin should take care that the dignity of the office they hold he
accompanied by a gentle suavity, which wisely managed will save them from
the sneers of malice that no station escapes.
"Glory in thy humble birth, Sancho, and be not ashamed of saying thou art
peasant-born; for when it is seen thou art not ashamed no one will set
himself to put thee to the blush; and pride thyself rather upon being one
of lowly virtue than a lofty sinner. Countless are they who, born of mean
parentage, have risen to the highest dignities, pontifical and imperial,
and of the truth of this I could give thee instances enough to weary
thee.
"Remember, Sancho, if thou make virtue thy aim, and take a pride in doing
virtuous actions, thou wilt have no cause to envy those who have princely
and lordly ones, for blood is an inheritance, but virtue an acquisition,
and virtue has in itself alone a worth that blood does not possess.
"This being so, if perchance anyone of thy kinsfolk should come to see
thee when thou art in thine island, thou art not to repel or slight him,
but on the contrary to welcome him, entertain him, and make much of him;
for in so doing thou wilt be approved of heaven (which is not pleased
that any should despise what it hath made), and wilt comply with the laws
of well-ordered nature.
"If thou carriest thy wife with thee (and it is not well for those that
administer governments to be long without their wives), teach and
instruct her, and strive to smooth down her natural roughness; for all
that may be gained by a wise governor may be lost and wasted by a boorish
stupid wife.
"If perchance thou art left a widower--a thing which may happen--and in
virtue of thy office seekest a consort of higher degree, choose not one
to serve thee for a hook, or for a fishing-rod, or for the hood of thy
'won't have it;' for verily, I tell thee, for all the judge's wife
receives, the husband will be held accountable at the general calling to
account; where he will have repay in death fourfold, items that in life
he regarded as naught.
"Never go by arbitrary law, which is so much favoured by ignorant men who
plume themselves on cleverness.
"Let the tears of the poor man find with thee more compassion, but not
more justice, than the pleadings of the rich.
"Strive to lay bare the truth, as well amid the promises and presents of
the rich man, as amid the sobs and entreaties of the poor.
"When equity may and should be brought into play, press not the utmost
rigour of the law against the guilty; for the reputation of the stern
judge stands not higher than that of the compassionate.
"If perchance thou permittest the staff of justice to swerve, let it be
not by the weight of a gift, but by that of mercy.
"If it should happen thee to give judgment in the cause of one who is
thine enemy, turn thy thoughts away from thy injury and fix them on the
justice of the case.
"Let not thine own passion blind thee in another man's cause; for the
errors thou wilt thus commit will be most frequently irremediable; or if
not, only to be remedied at the expense of thy good name and even of thy
fortune.
"If any handsome woman come to seek justice of thee, turn away thine eyes
from her tears and thine ears from her lamentations, and consider
deliberately the merits of her demand, if thou wouldst not have thy
reason swept away by her weeping, and thy rectitude by her sighs.
"Abuse not by word him whom thou hast to punish in deed, for the pain of
punishment is enough for the unfortunate without the addition of thine
objurgations.
"Bear in mind that the culprit who comes under thy jurisdiction is but a
miserable man subject to all the propensities of our depraved nature, and
so far as may be in thy power show thyself lenient and forbearing; for
though the attributes of God are all equal, to our eyes that of mercy is
brighter and loftier than that of justice.
"If thou followest these precepts and rules, Sancho, thy days will be
long, thy fame eternal, thy reward abundant, thy felicity unutterable;
thou wilt marry thy children as thou wouldst; they and thy grandchildren
will bear titles; thou wilt live in peace and concord with all men; and,
when life draws to a close, death will come to thee in calm and ripe old
age, and the light and loving hands of thy great-grandchildren will close
thine eyes.
"What I have thus far addressed to thee are instructions for the
adornment of thy mind; listen now to those which tend to that of the
body."
CHAPTER XLIII.
OF THE SECOND SET OF COUNSELS DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA
Who, hearing the foregoing discourse of Don Quixote, would not have set
him down for a person of great good sense and greater rectitude of
purpose? But, as has been frequently observed in the course of this great
history, he only talked nonsense when he touched on chivalry, and in
discussing all other subjects showed that he had a clear and unbiassed
understanding; so that at every turn his acts gave the lie to his
intellect, and his intellect to his acts; but in the case of these second
counsels that he gave Sancho he showed himself to have a lively turn of
humour, and displayed conspicuously his wisdom, and also his folly.
Sancho listened to him with the deepest attention, and endeavoured to fix
his counsels in his memory, like one who meant to follow them and by
their means bring the full promise of his government to a happy issue.
Don Quixote, then, went on to say:
"With regard to the mode in which thou shouldst govern thy person and thy
house, Sancho, the first charge I have to give thee is to be clean, and
to cut thy nails, not letting them grow as some do, whose ignorance makes
them fancy that long nails are an ornament to their hands, as if those
excrescences they neglect to cut were nails, and not the talons of a
lizard-catching kestrel--a filthy and unnatural abuse.
"Go not ungirt and loose, Sancho; for disordered attire is a sign of an
unstable mind, unless indeed the slovenliness and slackness is to be set
down to craft, as was the common opinion in the case of Julius Caesar.
"Ascertain cautiously what thy office may be worth; and if it will allow
thee to give liveries to thy servants, give them respectable and
serviceable, rather than showy and gay ones, and divide them between thy
servants and the poor; that is to say, if thou canst clothe six pages,
clothe three and three poor men, and thus thou wilt have pages for heaven
and pages for earth; the vainglorious never think of this new mode of
giving liveries.
"Eat not garlic nor onions, lest they find out thy boorish origin by the
smell; walk slowly and speak deliberately, but not in such a way as to
make it seem thou art listening to thyself, for all affectation is bad.
"Dine sparingly and sup more sparingly still; for the health of the whole
body is forged in the workshop of the stomach.
"Be temperate in drinking, bearing in mind that wine in excess keeps
neither secrets nor promises.
"Take care, Sancho, not to chew on both sides, and not to eruct in
anybody's presence."
"Eruct!" said Sancho; "I don't know what that means."
"To eruct, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "means to belch, and that is one of
the filthiest words in the Spanish language, though a very expressive
one; and therefore nice folk have had recourse to the Latin, and instead
of belch say eruct, and instead of belches say eructations; and if some
do not understand these terms it matters little, for custom will bring
them into use in the course of time, so that they will be readily
understood; this is the way a language is enriched; custom and the public
are all-powerful there."
"In truth, senor," said Sancho, "one of the counsels and cautions I mean
to bear in mind shall be this, not to belch, for I'm constantly doing
it."
"Eruct, Sancho, not belch," said Don Quixote.
"Eruct, I shall say henceforth, and I swear not to forget it," said
Sancho.
"Likewise, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou must not mingle such a
quantity of proverbs in thy discourse as thou dost; for though proverbs
are short maxims, thou dost drag them in so often by the head and
shoulders that they savour more of nonsense than of maxims."
"God alone can cure that," said Sancho; "for I have more proverbs in me
than a book, and when I speak they come so thick together into my mouth
that they fall to fighting among themselves to get out; that's why my
tongue lets fly the first that come, though they may not be pat to the
purpose. But I'll take care henceforward to use such as befit the dignity
of my office; for 'in a house where there's plenty, supper is soon
cooked,' and 'he who binds does not wrangle,' and 'the bell-ringer's in a
safe berth,' and 'giving and keeping require brains.'"
"That's it, Sancho!" said Don Quixote; "pack, tack, string proverbs
together; nobody is hindering thee! 'My mother beats me, and I go on with
my tricks.' I am bidding thee avoid proverbs, and here in a second thou
hast shot out a whole litany of them, which have as much to do with what
we are talking about as 'over the hills of Ubeda.' Mind, Sancho, I do not
say that a proverb aptly brought in is objectionable; but to pile up and
string together proverbs at random makes conversation dull and vulgar.
"When thou ridest on horseback, do not go lolling with thy body on the
back of the saddle, nor carry thy legs stiff or sticking out from the
horse's belly, nor yet sit so loosely that one would suppose thou wert on
Dapple; for the seat on a horse makes gentlemen of some and grooms of
others.
"Be moderate in thy sleep; for he who does not rise early does not get
the benefit of the day; and remember, Sancho, diligence is the mother of
good fortune, and indolence, its opposite, never yet attained the object
of an honest ambition.
"The last counsel I will give thee now, though it does not tend to bodily
improvement, I would have thee carry carefully in thy memory, for I
believe it will be no less useful to thee than those I have given thee
already, and it is this--never engage in a dispute about families, at
least in the way of comparing them one with another; for necessarily one
of those compared will be better than the other, and thou wilt be hated
by the one thou hast disparaged, and get nothing in any shape from the
one thou hast exalted.
"Thy attire shall be hose of full length, a long jerkin, and a cloak a
trifle longer; loose breeches by no means, for they are becoming neither
for gentlemen nor for governors.
"For the present, Sancho, this is all that has occurred to me to advise
thee; as time goes by and occasions arise my instructions shall follow,
if thou take care to let me know how thou art circumstanced."
"Senor," said Sancho, "I see well enough that all these things your
worship has said to me are good, holy, and profitable; but what use will
they be to me if I don't remember one of them? To be sure that about not
letting my nails grow, and marrying again if I have the chance, will not
slip out of my head; but all that other hash, muddle, and jumble--I don't
and can't recollect any more of it than of last year's clouds; so it must
be given me in writing; for though I can't either read or write, I'll
give it to my confessor, to drive it into me and remind me of it whenever
it is necessary."
"Ah, sinner that I am!" said Don Quixote, "how bad it looks in governors
not to know how to read or write; for let me tell thee, Sancho, when a
man knows not how to read, or is left-handed, it argues one of two
things; either that he was the son of exceedingly mean and lowly parents,
or that he himself was so incorrigible and ill-conditioned that neither
good company nor good teaching could make any impression on him. It is a
great defect that thou labourest under, and therefore I would have thee
learn at any rate to sign thy name." "I can sign my name well enough,"
said Sancho, "for when I was steward of the brotherhood in my village I
learned to make certain letters, like the marks on bales of goods, which
they told me made out my name. Besides I can pretend my right hand is
disabled and make some one else sign for me, for 'there's a remedy for
everything except death;' and as I shall be in command and hold the
staff, I can do as I like; moreover, 'he who has the alcalde for his
father-,' and I'll be governor, and that's higher than alcalde. Only come
and see! Let them make light of me and abuse me; 'they'll come for wool
and go back shorn;' 'whom God loves, his house is known to Him;' 'the
silly sayings of the rich pass for saws in the world;' and as I'll be
rich, being a governor, and at the same time generous, as I mean to be,
no fault will be seen in me. 'Only make yourself honey and the flies will
suck you;' 'as much as thou hast so much art thou worth,' as my
grandmother used to say; and 'thou canst have no revenge of a man of
substance.'"
"Oh, God's curse upon thee, Sancho!" here exclaimed Don Quixote; "sixty
thousand devils fly away with thee and thy proverbs! For the last hour
thou hast been stringing them together and inflicting the pangs of
torture on me with every one of them. Those proverbs will bring thee to
the gallows one day, I promise thee; thy subjects will take the
government from thee, or there will be revolts among them. Tell me, where
dost thou pick them up, thou booby? How dost thou apply them, thou
blockhead? For with me, to utter one and make it apply properly, I have
to sweat and labour as if I were digging."
"By God, master mine," said Sancho, "your worship is making a fuss about
very little. Why the devil should you be vexed if I make use of what is
my own? And I have got nothing else, nor any other stock in trade except
proverbs and more proverbs; and here are three just this instant come
into my head, pat to the purpose and like pears in a basket; but I won't
repeat them, for 'sage silence is called Sancho.'"
"That, Sancho, thou art not," said Don Quixote; "for not only art thou
not sage silence, but thou art pestilent prate and perversity; still I
would like to know what three proverbs have just now come into thy
memory, for I have been turning over mine own--and it is a good one--and
none occurs to me."
"What can be better," said Sancho, "than 'never put thy thumbs between
two back teeth;' and 'to "get out of my house" and "what do you want with
my wife?" there is no answer;' and 'whether the pitcher hits the stove,
or the stove the pitcher, it's a bad business for the pitcher;' all which
fit to a hair? For no one should quarrel with his governor, or him in
authority over him, because he will come off the worst, as he does who
puts his finger between two back and if they are not back teeth it makes
no difference, so long as they are teeth; and to whatever the governor
may say there's no answer, any more than to 'get out of my house' and
'what do you want with my wife?' and then, as for that about the stone
and the pitcher, a blind man could see that. So that he 'who sees the
mote in another's eye had need to see the beam in his own,' that it be
not said of himself, 'the dead woman was frightened at the one with her
throat cut;' and your worship knows well that 'the fool knows more in his
own house than the wise man in another's.'"