The Twilight of the Gods, and Other Tales - Richard Garnett
Renaissance or Rats, Alexander the Eighth yielded.
"I promise," he declared.
"Your hand upon it!"
Subduing his repugnance and apprehension by a strong effort, Alexander laid
his hand within the spectre's clammy paw. An icy thrill ran through his
veins, and he sank back senseless into his chair.
III
When the Pope recovered consciousness he found himself in bed, with slight
symptoms of fever. His first care was to summon Cardinal Barbadico, and
confer with him respecting the surprising adventures which had recently
befallen them. To his amazement, the Cardinal's mind seemed an entire blank
on the subject. He admitted having made his customary report to his
Holiness the preceding night, but knew nothing of any supernatural
ratcatcher, and nothing of any midnight rendezvous at the Appartamento
Borgia. Investigation seemed to justify his nescience; no vestige of the
man of rats or of his shop could be discovered; and the Borgian apartments,
opened and carefully searched through, revealed no trace of having been
visited for many years. The Pope's book of exorcisms was in its proper
place, his vial of holy water stood unbroken upon his table; and his
chamberlains deposed that they had consigned him to Morpheus at the usual
hour. His illusion was at first explained as the effect of a peculiarly
vivid dream; but when he declared his intention of actually holding a
service and conducting a procession for the weal of his namesake and
predecessor, the conviction became universal that the rats had effected a
lodgement in his Holiness's upper storeys.
Alexander, notwithstanding, was resolute, and so it came to pass that on
the same day two mighty processions encountered within the walls of Rome.
As the assembled clergy, drawn from all the churches and monasteries in
the city, the Pope in his litter in their midst, marched, carrying candles,
intoning chants, and, with many a secret shrug and sneer, imploring Heaven
for the repose of Alexander the Sixth, they were suddenly brought to bay by
another procession precipitated athwart their track, disorderly, repulsive,
but more grateful to the sight of the citizens than all the pomps and
pageants of the palmiest days of the Papacy. Black, brown, white, grey; fat
and lean; old and young; strident or silent; the whiskered legions tore and
galloped along; thronging from every part of the city, they united in
single column into an endless host that appeared to stretch from the rising
to the setting of the sun. They seemed making for the Tiber, which they
would have speedily choked; but ere they could arrive there a huge rift
opened in the earth, down which they madly precipitated themselves. Their
descent, it is affirmed, lasted as many hours as Vulcan occupied in falling
from Heaven to Lemnos; but when the last tail was over the brink, the gulf
closed as effectually as the gulf in the Forum closed over Marcus Curtius,
not leaving the slightest inequality by which any could detect it.
Long ere this consummation had been attained, the Pope, looking forth from
his litter, observed a venerable personage clad in ratskins, who appeared
desirous of attracting his notice. Glances of recognition were exchanged,
and instantly in place of the ratcatcher stood a tall, swarthy, corpulent,
elderly man, with the majestic yet sensual features of Alexander the Sixth,
accoutred with the official habiliments and insignia of a Pope, who rose
slowly into the air as though he had been inflated with hydrogen.
"To your prayers!" cried Alexander the Eighth, and gave the example. The
priesthood resumed its chants, the multitude dropped upon their knees.
Their orisons seemed to speed the ascending figure, which was rising
rapidly, when suddenly appeared in air Luxury, Simony, and Cruelty,
contending which should receive the Holy Father into her bosom. [*] Borgia
struck at them with his crozier, and seemed to be keeping them at bay, when
a cloud wrapped the group from the sight of men. Thunder roared, lightning
glared, the rush of waters blended with the ejaculations of the people and
the yet more tempestuous rushing of the rats. Accompanied as he was, it is
not probable that Alexander passed, like Dante's sigh, "beyond the sphere
that doth all spheres enfold"; but, as he was never again seen on earth, it
is not doubted that he attained at least as far as the moon.
[Footnote:
Per aver riposo
Portato fu fra l'anime beate
Lo spirito di Alessandro glorioso;
Del qual seguiro le sante pedate
Tre sue familiari e care ancelle,
Lussuria, Simonia, e Crudeltate.
[--Machiavelli, _Decennale Primo_.]]
THE REWARDS OF INDUSTRY
In China, under the Tang dynasty, early in the seventh century of the
Christian era, lived a learned and virtuous, but poor mandarin who had
three sons, Fu-su, Tu-sin, and Wang-li. Fu-su and Tu-sin were young men of
active minds, always labouring to find out something new and useful.
Wang-li was clever too, but only in games of skill, in which he attained
great proficiency.
Fu-su and Tu-sin continually talked to each other of the wonderful
inventions they would make when they arrived at man's estate, and of the
wealth and renown they promised themselves thereby. Their conversation
seldom reached the ears of Wang-li, for he rarely lifted his eyes from the
chess-board on which he solved his problems. But their father was more
attentive, and one day he said:
"I fear, my sons, that among your multifarious pursuits and studies you
must have omitted to include that of the laws of your country, or you would
have learned that fortune is not to be acquired by the means which you have
proposed to yourselves."
"How so, father?" asked they.
"It hath been justly deemed by our ancestors," said the old man, "that the
reverence due to the great men who are worshipped in our temples, by
reason of our indebtedness to them for the arts of life, could not but
become impaired if their posterity were suffered to eclipse their fame by
new discoveries, or presumptuously amend what might appear imperfect in
their productions. It is therefore, by an edict of the Emperor Suen,
forbidden to invent anything; and by a statute of the Emperor Wu-chi it is
further provided that nothing hitherto invented shall be improved. My
predecessor in the small office I hold was deprived of it for saying that
in his judgment money ought to be made round instead of square, and I have
myself run risk of my life for seeking to combine a small file with a pair
of tweezers."
"If this is the case," said the young men, "our fatherland is not the place
for us." And they embraced their father, and departed. Of their brother
Wang-li they took no farewell, inasmuch as he was absorbed in a chess
problem. Before separating, they agreed to meet on the same spot after
thirty years, with the treasure which they doubted not to have acquired by
the exercise of their inventive faculties in foreign lands. They further
covenanted that if either had missed his reward the other should share his
possessions with him.
Fu-su repaired to the artists who cut out characters in blocks of hard
wood, to the end that books may be printed from the same. When he had
fathomed their mystery he betook himself to a brass-founder, and learned
how to cast in metal. He then sought a learned man who had travelled much,
and made himself acquainted with the Greek, Persian, and Arabic languages.
Then he cast a number of Greek characters in type, and putting them into a
bag and providing himself with some wooden letter-tablets of his own
carving, he departed to seek his fortune. After innumerable hardships and
perils he arrived in the land of Persia, and inquired for the great king.
"The great king is dead," they told him, "and his head is entirely
separated from his body. There is now no king in Persia, great or small."
"Where shall I find another great king?" demanded he.
"In the city of Alexandria," replied they, "where the Commander of the
Faithful is busy introducing the religion of the Prophet."
Fu-su passed to Alexandria, carrying his types and tablets.
As he entered the gates he remarked an enormous cloud of smoke, which
seemed to darken the whole city. Before he could inquire the reason, the
guard arrested him as a stranger, and conducted him to the presence of the
Caliph Omar.
"Know, O Caliph," said Fu-su, "that my countrymen are at once the wisest of
mankind and the stupidest. They have invented an art for the preservation
of letters and the diffusion of knowledge, which the sages of Greece and
India never knew, but they have not learned to take, and they refuse to be
taught how to take, the one little step further necessary to render it
generally profitable to mankind."
And producing his tablets and types, he explained to the Caliph the entire
mystery of the art of printing.
"Thou seemest to be ignorant," said Omar, "that we have but yesterday
condemned and excommunicated all books, and banished the same from the
face of the earth, seeing that they contain either that which is contrary
to the Koran, in which case they are impious, or that which is agreeable to
the Koran, in which case they are superfluous. Thou art further unaware, as
it would seem, that the smoke which shrouds the city proceeds from the
library of the unbelievers, consumed by our orders. It will be meet to burn
thee along with it."
"O Commander of the Faithful," said an officer, "of a surety the last
scroll of the accursed ceased to flame even as this infidel entered the
city."
"If it be so," said Omar, "we will not burn him, seeing that we have taken
away from him the occasion to sin. Yet shall he swallow these little brass
amulets of his, at the rate of one a day, and then be banished from the
country."
The sentence was executed, and Fu-su was happy that the Court physician
condescended to accept his little property in exchange for emetics.
He begged his way slowly and painfully back to China, and arrived at the
covenanted spot at the expiration of the thirtieth year. His father's
modest dwelling had disappeared, and in its place stood a magnificent
mansion, around which stretched a park with pavilions, canals,
willow-trees, golden pheasants, and little bridges.
"Tu-sin has surely made his fortune," thought he, "and he will not refuse
to share it with me agreeably to our covenant."
As he thus reflected he heard a voice at his elbow, and turning round
perceived that one in a more wretched plight than himself was asking alms
of him. It was Tu-sin.
The brothers embraced with many tears, and after Tu-sin had learned Fu-su's
history, he proceeded to recount his own.
"I repaired," said he, "to those who know the secret of the grains termed
fire-dust, which Suen has not been able to prevent us from inventing, but
of which Wu-chi has taken care that we shall make no use, save only for
fireworks. Having learned their mystery I deposited a certain portion of
this fire-dust in hollow tubes which I had constructed of iron and brass,
and upon it I further laid leaden balls of a size corresponding to the
hollow of the tubes. I then found that by applying a light to the fire-dust
at one end of the tube I could send the ball out at the other with such
force that it penetrated the cuirasses of three warriors at once. I filled
a barrel with the dust, and concealing it and the tubes under carpets which
I laid upon the backs of oxen, I set out to the city of Constantinople. I
will not at present relate my adventures on the journey. Suffice it that I
arrived at last half dead from fatigue and hardship, and destitute of
everything except my merchandise. By bribing an officer with my carpets I
was admitted to have speech with the Emperor. I found him busily studying a
problem in chess.
"I told him that I had discovered a secret which would make him the master
of the world, and in particular would help him to drive away the Saracens,
who threatened his empire with destruction.
"'Thou must perceive,' he said, 'that I cannot possibly attend to thee
until I have solved this problem. Yet, lest any should say that the
Emperor neglects his duties, absorbed in idle amusement, I will refer thy
invention to the chief armourers of my capital. And he gave me a letter to
the armourers, and returned to his problem. And as I quitted the palace
bearing the missive, I came upon a great procession. Horsemen and running
footmen, musicians, heralds, and banner-bearers surrounded a Chinaman who
sat in the attitude of Fo under a golden umbrella upon a richly caparisoned
elephant, his pigtail plaited with yellow roses. And the musicians blew and
clashed, and the standard-bearers waved their ensigns, and the heralds
proclaimed, 'Thus shall it be done to the man whom the Emperor delights to
honour.' And unless I was very greatly mistaken, the face of the Chinaman
was the face of our brother Wang-li.
"At another time I would have striven to find what this might mean, but my
impatience was great, as also my need and hunger. I sought the chief
armourers, and with great trouble brought them all together to give me
audience, I produced my tube and fire-dust, and sent my balls with ease
through the best armour they could set before me.
"' Who will want breast-plates now?' cried the chief breast-plate maker.
"'Or helmets?' exclaimed one who made armour for the head.
"'I would not have taken fifty bezants for that shield, and what good is it
now?' said the head of the shield trade.
"'My swords will be of less account,' said a swordsmith.
"'My arrows of none,' lamented an arrow-maker.
"''Tis villainy,' cried one.
"''Tis magic,' shouted another.
"''Tis illusion, as I'm an honest tradesman,' roared a third, and put his
integrity to the proof by thrusting a hot iron bar into my barrel. All
present rose up in company with the roof of the building, and all perished,
except myself, who escaped with the loss of my hair and skin. A fire broke
out on the spot, and consumed one-third of the city of Constantinople.
"I was lying on a prison-bed some time afterwards, partly recovered of my
hurts, dolefully listening to a dispute between two of my guards as to
whether I ought to be burned or buried alive, when the Imperial order for
my disposal came down. The gaolers received it with humility, and read
'Kick him out of the city.' Marvelling at the mildness of the punishment,
they nevertheless executed it with so much zeal that I flew into the middle
of the Bosphorus, where I was picked up by a fishing vessel, and landed on
the Asiatic coast, whence I have begged my way home. I now propose that we
appeal to the pity of the owner of this splendid mansion, who may
compassionate us on hearing that we were reared in the Cottage which has
been pulled down to make room for his palace."
They entered the gates, walked timidly up to the house, and prepared to
fall at the feet of the master, but did not, for ere they could do so they
recognised their brother Wang-li.
It took Wang-li some time to recognise them, but when at length he knew
them he hastened to provide for their every want. When they had well eaten
and drunk, and had been clad in robes of honour, they imparted their
histories, and asked for his.
"My brothers," said Wang-li, "the noble game of chess, which was happily
invented long before the time of the Emperor Suen, was followed by me
solely for its pleasure, and I dreamed not of acquiring wealth by its
pursuit until I casually heard one day that it was entirely unknown to the
people of the West. Even then I thought not of gaining money, but conceived
so deep a compassion for those forlorn barbarians that I felt I could know
no rest until I should have enlightened them. I accordingly proceeded to
the city of Constantinople, and was received as a messenger from Heaven. To
such effect did I labour that ere long the Emperor and his officers of
state thought of nothing else but playing chess all day and night, and the
empire fell into entire confusion, and the Saracens mightily prevailed. In
consideration of these services the Emperor was pleased to bestow those
distinguished honours upon me which thou didst witness at his palace gate,
dear brother.
"After, however, the fire which was occasioned through thy instrumentality,
though in no respect by thy fault, the people murmured, and taxed the
Emperor with seeking to destroy his capital in league with a foreign
sorcerer, meaning thee. Ere long the chief officers conspired and entered
the Emperor's apartment, purposing to dethrone him, but he declared that he
would in nowise abdicate until he had finished the game of chess he was
then playing with me. They looked on, grew interested, began to dispute
with one another respecting the moves, and while they wrangled loyal
officers entered and made them all captive. This greatly augmented my
credit with the Emperor, which was even increased when shortly afterwards I
played with the Saracen admiral blockading the Hellespont, and won of him
forty corn-ships, which turned the dearth of the city into plenty.
"The Emperor bade me choose any favour I would, but I said his liberality
had left me nothing to ask for except the life of a poor countryman of mine
who I had heard was in prison for burning the city. The Emperor bade me
write his sentence with my own hand. Had I known that it was thou, Tu-sin,
believe me I had shown more consideration for thy person. At length I
departed for my native land, loaded with wealth, and travelling most
comfortably by relays of swift dromedaries. I returned hither, bought our
father's cottage, and on its site erected this palace, where I dwell
meditating on the problems of chessplayers and the precepts of the sages,
and persuaded that a little thing which the world is willing to receive is
better than a great thing which it hath not yet learned to value aright.
For the world is a big child, and chooses amusement before instruction."
"Call you chess an amusement?" asked his brothers.
MADAM LUCIFER
Lucifer sat playing chess with Man for his soul.
The game was evidently going ill for Man. He had but pawns left, few and
straggling. Lucifer had rooks, knights, and, of course, bishops.
It was but natural under such circumstances that Man should be in no great
hurry to move. Lucifer grew impatient.
"It is a pity," said he at last, "that we did not fix some period within
which the player must move, or resign."
"Oh, Lucifer," returned the young man, in heart-rending accents, "it is not
the impending loss of my soul that thus unmans me, but the loss of my
betrothed. When I think of the grief of the Lady Adeliza, that paragon of
terrestrial loveliness!" Tears choked his utterance; Lucifer was touched.
"Is the Lady Adeliza's loveliness in sooth so transcendent?" he inquired.
"She is a rose, a lily, a diamond, a morning star!"
"If that is the case," rejoined Lucifer, "thou mayest reassure thyself. The
Lady Adeliza shall not want for consolation. I will assume thy shape and
woo her in thy stead."
The young man hardly seemed to receive all the comfort from this promise
which Lucifer no doubt designed. He made a desperate move. In an instant
the Devil checkmated him, and he disappeared.
* * * * *
"Upon my word, if I had known what a business this was going to be, I don't
think I should have gone in for it," soliloquised the Devil, as, wearing
his captive's semblance and installed in his apartments, he surveyed the
effects to which he now had to administer. They included coats, shirts,
collars, neckties, foils, cigars, and the like _ad libitum_; and very
little else except three challenges, ten writs, and seventy-four unpaid
bills, elegantly disposed around the looking-glass. To the poor youth's
praise be it said, there were no billets-doux, except from the Lady Adeliza
herself.
Noting the address of these carefully, the Devil sallied forth, and nothing
but his ignorance of the topography of the hotel, which made him take the
back stairs, saved him from the clutches of two bailiffs lurking on the
principal staircase. Leaping into a cab, he thus escaped a perfumer and a
bootmaker, and shortly found himself at the Lady Adeliza's feet.
The truth had not been half told him. Such beauty, such wit, such
correctness of principle! Lucifer went forth from her presence a love-sick
fiend. Not Merlin's mother had produced half the impression upon him; and
Adeliza on her part had never found her lover one-hundredth part so
interesting as he seemed that morning.
Lucifer proceeded at once to the City, where, assuming his proper shape
for the occasion, he negotiated a loan without the smallest difficulty. All
debts were promptly discharged, and Adeliza was astonished at the splendour
and variety of the presents she was constantly receiving.
Lucifer had all but brought her to name the day, when he was informed that
a gentleman of clerical appearance desired to wait upon him.
"Wants money for a new church or mission, I suppose," said he. "Show him
up."
But when the visitor was ushered in, Lucifer found with discomposure that
he was no earthly clergyman, but a celestial saint; a saint, too, with whom
Lucifer had never been able to get on. He had served in the army while on
earth, and his address was curt, precise, and peremptory.
"I have called," he said, "to notify to you my appointment as Inspector of
Devils."
"What!" exclaimed Lucifer, in consternation. "To the post of my old friend
Michael!"
"Too old," said the Saint laconically. "Millions of years older than the
world. About your age, I think?"
Lucifer winced, remembering the particular business he was then about. The
Saint continued:
"I am a new broom, and am expected to sweep clean. I warn you that I mean
to be strict, and there is one little matter which I must set right
immediately. You are going to marry that poor young fellow's betrothed, are
you? Now you know you cannot take his wife, unless you give him yours."
"Oh, my dear friend," exclaimed Lucifer, "what an inexpressibly blissful
prospect you do open unto me!"
"I don't know that," said the Saint. "I must remind you that the dominion
of the infernal regions is unalterably attached to the person of the
present Queen thereof. If you part with her you immediately lose all your
authority and possessions. I don't care a brass button which you do, but
you must understand that you cannot eat your cake and have it too. Good
morning!"
Who shall describe the conflict in Lucifer's bosom? If any stronger passion
existed therein at that moment than attachment to Adeliza, it was aversion
to his consort, and the two combined were well-nigh irresistible. But to
disenthrone himself, to descend to the condition of a poor devil!
Feeling himself incapable of coming to a decision, he sent for Belial,
unfolded the matter, and requested his advice.
"What a shame that our new inspector will not let you marry Adeliza!"
lamented his counsellor. "If you did, my private opinion is that
forty-eight hours afterwards you would care just as much for her as you do
now for Madam Lucifer, neither more nor less. Are your intentions really
honourable?"
"Yes," replied Lucifer, "it is to be a Lucifer match."
"The more fool you," rejoined Belial. "If you tempted her to commit a sin,
she would be yours without any conditions at all."
"Oh, Belial," said Lucifer, "I cannot bring myself to be a tempter of so
much innocence and loveliness."
And he meant what he said.
"Well then, let me try," proposed Belial.
"You?" replied Lucifer contemptuously; "do you imagine that Adeliza would
look at _you_?"
"Why not?" asked Belial, surveying himself complacently in the glass.
He was humpbacked, squinting, and lame, and his horns stood up under his
wig.
The discussion ended in a wager after which there was no retreat for
Lucifer.
The infernal Iachimo was introduced to Adeliza as a distinguished
foreigner, and was soon prosecuting his suit with all the success which
Lucifer had predicted. One thing protected while it baffled him--the
entire inability of Adeliza to understand what he meant. At length he was
constrained to make the matter clear by producing an enormous treasure,
which he offered Adeliza in exchange for the abandonment of her lover.
The tempest of indignation which ensued would have swept away any ordinary
demon, but Belial listened unmoved. When Adeliza had exhausted herself he
smilingly rallied her upon her affection for an unworthy lover, of whose
infidelity he undertook to give her proof. Frantic with jealousy, Adeliza
consented, and in a trice found herself in the infernal regions.
* * * * *
Adeliza's arrival in Pandemonium, as Belial had planned, occurred
immediately after the receipt of a message from Lucifer, in whose bosom
love had finally gained the victory, and who had telegraphed his abdication
and resignation of Madam Lucifer to Adeliza's betrothed. The poor young man
had just been hauled up from the lower depths, and was beset by legions of
demons obsequiously pressing all manner of treasures upon his acceptance.
He stared, helpless and bewildered, unable to realise his position in the
smallest degree. In the background grave and serious demons, the princes of
the infernal realm, discussed the new departure, and consulted especially
how to break it to Madam Lucifer--a commission of which no one seemed
ambitious.