The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom, Complete - Tobias Smollett
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Fathom approved of his remarks, which he reinforced with sundry
considerations, to the same purpose, and begged the assistance of the
major's advice, in finding some expedient to terminate the affair without
bloodshed, that no troublesome consequences might ensue either to him or
to his antagonist, who, in spite of this overstraining formality, seemed
to be a person of worth and good-nature. "With all my heart," said the
generous Hibernian, "I have a great regard for the little man, and my own
character is not to seek at this time of day. I have served a long
apprenticeship to fighting, as this same carcase can testify, and if he
compels me to run him through the body, by my shoul, I shall do it in a
friendly manner."
So saying, he threw aside the blanket, and displayed scars and seams
innumerable upon his body, which appeared like an old patched leathern
doublet. "I remember," proceeded this champion, "when I was a slave at
Algiers, Murphy Macmorris and I happened to have some difference in the
bagnio, upon which he bade me turn out. 'Arra, for what?' said I; 'here
are no weapons that a gentleman can use, and you would not be such a
negro as to box like an English carman.' After he had puzzled himself
for some time, he proposed that we should retire into a corner, and funk
one another with brimstone, till one of us should give out. Accordingly
we crammed half a dozen tobacco pipes with sulphur, and, setting foot to
foot, began to smoke, and kept a constant fire, until Macmorris dropped
down; then I threw away my pipe, and taking poor Murphy in my arms,
'What, are you dead?' said I; 'if you are dead, speak.' 'No, by Jesus!'
cried he, 'I an't dead, but I'm speechless.' So he owned I had obtained
the victory, and we were as good friends as ever. Now, if Mr. Minikin
thinks proper to put the affair upon the same issue, I will smoke a pipe
of brimstone with him to-morrow morning, and if I cry out first, I will
be after asking pardon for this supposed affront."
Fathom could not help laughing at the proposal, to which, however, he
objected on account of Minikin's delicate constitution, which might
suffer more detriment from breathing in an atmosphere of sulphur than
from the discharge of a pistol, or the thrust of a small sword. He
therefore suggested another expedient in lieu of the sulphur, namely, the
gum called assafatida, which, though abundantly nauseous, could have no
effect upon the infirm texture of the lieutenant's lungs. This hint
being relished by the major, our adventurer returned to his principal,
and having repeated the other's arguments against the use of mortal
instruments, described the succedaneum which he had concerted with
Macleaver. The captain at first believed the scheme was calculated for
subjecting him to the ridicule of his fellow-prisoners, and began to
storm with great violence; but, by the assurances and address of Fathom,
he was at length reconciled to the plan, and preparations were made on
each side for this duel, which was actually smoked next day, about noon,
in a small closet, detached from the challenger's apartment, and within
hearing of his majesty, and all his court, assembled as witnesses and
umpires of the contest.
The combatants, being locked up together, began to ply their engines with
great fury, and it was not long before Captain Minikin perceived he had a
manifest advantage over his antagonist. For his organs were familiarised
to the effluvia of this drug, which he had frequently used in the course
of an hypochondriac disorder; whereas Macleaver, who was a stranger to
all sorts of medicine, by his wry faces and attempts to puke, expressed
the utmost abhorrence of the smell that invaded his nostrils.
Nevertheless, resolved to hold out to the last extremity, he continued in
action until the closet was filled with such an intolerable vapour as
discomposed the whole economy of his entrails, and compelled him to
disgorge his breakfast in the face of his opponent, whose nerves were so
disconcerted by this disagreeable and unforeseen discharge, that he fell
back into his chair in a swoon, and the major bellowed aloud for
assistance. The door being opened, he ran directly to the window, to
inhale the fresh air, while the captain, recovering from his fit,
complained of Macleaver's unfair proceeding, and demanded justice of the
arbitrators, who decided in his favour; and the major being prevailed
upon to ask pardon for having introduced Mrs. Minikin to women of rotten
reputation, the parties were reconciled to each other, and peace and
concord re-established in the mess.
Fathom acquired universal applause for his discreet and humane conduct
upon this occasion; and that same afternoon had an opportunity of seeing
the lady in whose cause he had exerted himself. He was presented to her
as the husband's particular friend, and when she understood how much she
was indebted to his care and concern for the captain's safety, she
treated him with uncommon marks of distinction; and he found her a
genteel, well-bred woman, not without a good deal of personal charms, and
a well-cultivated understanding.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
AN UNEXPECTED RENCONTRE, AND A HAPPY REVOLUTION IN THE AFFAIRS OF OUR
ADVENTURER.
As she did not lodge within the precincts of this garrison, she was one
day, after tea, conducted to the gate by the captain and the Count, and
just as they approached the turnkey's lodge, our hero's eyes were struck
with the apparition of his old companion Renaldo, son of his benefactor
and patron, the Count de Melvil. What were the emotions of his soul,
when he saw that young gentleman enter the prison, and advance towards
him, after having spoke to the jailor! He never doubted that, being
informed of his confinement, he was come to upbraid him with his villany
and ingratitude, and he in vain endeavoured to recollect himself from
that terror and guilty confusion which his appearance had inspired; when
the stranger, lifting up his eyes, started back with signs of extreme
amazement, and, after a considerable pause, exclaimed, "Heaven and earth!
Sure my eyes do not deceive me! is not your name Fathom? It is, it must
be my old friend and companion, the loss of whom I have so long
regretted!" With these words he ran towards our adventurer, and, while
he clasped him in his arms with all the eagerness of affection, protested
that this was one of the happiest days he had ever seen.
Ferdinand, who, from this salutation, concluded himself still in
possession of Renaldo's good opinion, was not deficient in expressions of
tenderness and joy; he returned his embraces with equal ardour, the tears
trickled down his cheeks, and that perturbation which proceeded from
conscious perfidy and fear, was mistaken by the unsuspecting Hungarian
for the sheer effects of love, gratitude, and surprise. These first
transports having subsided, they adjourned to the lodgings of Fathom, who
soon recollected his spirits and invention so well as to amuse the other
with a feigned tale of his having been taken by the French, sent prisoner
into Champagne, from whence he had written many letters to Count Melvil
and his son, of whom he could hear no tidings; of his having contracted
an intimacy with a young nobleman of France, who died in the flower of
his age, after having, in token of his friendship, bequeathed to him a
considerable legacy; by this he had been enabled to visit the land of his
forefathers in the character of a gentleman, which he had supported with
some figure, until he was betrayed into a misfortune that exhausted his
funds, and drove him to the spot where he was now found. And he solemnly
declared, that, far from forgetting the obligation he owed to Count
Melvil, or renouncing the friendship of Renaldo, he had actually resolved
to set out for Germany on his return to the house of his patron in the
beginning of the week posterior to that in which he had been arrested.
Young Melvil, whose own heart had never known the instigations of fraud,
implicitly believed the story and protestations of Fathom; and though he
would not justify that part of his conduct by which the term of his good
fortune was abridged, he could not help excusing an indiscretion into
which he had been hurried by the precipitancy of youth, and the
allurements of an artful woman. Nay, with the utmost warmth of
friendship, he undertook to wait upon Trapwell, and endeavour to soften
him into some reasonable terms of composition.
Fathom seemed to be quite overwhelmed with a deep sense of all this
goodness, and affected the most eager impatience to know the particulars
of Renaldo's fate, since their unhappy separation, more especially his
errand to this uncomfortable place, which he should henceforth revere as
the providential scene of their reunion. Nor did he forget to inquire,
in the most affectionate and dutiful manner, about the situation of his
noble parents and amiable sister.
At mention of these names, Renaldo, fetching a deep sigh, "Alas! my
friend," said he, "the Count is no more; and, what aggravates my
affliction for the loss of such a father, it was my misfortune to be
under his displeasure at the time of his death. Had I been present on
that melancholy occasion, so well I knew his generosity and paternal
tenderness, that, sure I am, he would in his last moments have forgiven
an only son, whose life had been a continual effort to render himself
worthy of such a parent, and whose crime was no other than an honourable
passion for the most meritorious of her sex. But I was removed at a
fatal distance from him, and doubtless my conduct must have been
invidiously misrepresented. Be that as it will, my mother has again
given her hand in wedlock to Count Trebasi; by whom I have the
mortification to be informed that I am totally excluded from my father's
succession; and I learn from other quarters, that my sister is
barbarously treated by this inhuman father-in-law. Grant, Heaven, I may
soon have an opportunity of expostulating with the tyrant upon that
subject."
So saying, his cheeks glowed, and his eyes lightened with resentment.
Then he thus proceeded: "My coming hither to-day was with a view to visit
a poor female relation, from whom I yesterday received a letter,
describing her most deplorable situation, and soliciting my assistance;
but the turnkey affirms that there is no such person in the jail, and I
was on my way to consult the keeper, when I was agreeably surprised with
the sight of my dear Fathom."
Our adventurer having wiped from his eyes the tears which were produced
by the news of his worthy patron's death, desired to know the name of
that afflicted prisoner, in whose behalf he interested himself so much,
and Renaldo produced the letter, subscribed, "Your unfortunate cousin,
Helen Melvil." This pretended relation, after having explained the
degree of consanguinity which she and the Count stood in to each other,
and occasionally mentioned some anecdotes of the family in Scotland, gave
him to understand that she had married a merchant of London, who, by
repeated losses in trade, had been reduced to indigence, and afterwards
confined to prison, where he then lay a breathless corpse, having left
her in the utmost extremity of wretchedness and want, with two young
children in the smallpox, and an incurable cancer in one of her own
breasts. Indeed, the picture she drew was so moving, and her expressions
so sensibly pathetic, that no person, whose heart was not altogether
callous, could peruse it without emotion. Renaldo had sent two guineas
by the messenger, whom she had represented as a trusty servant, whose
fidelity had been proof against all the distress of her mistress; and he
was now arrived in order to reinforce his bounty.
Fathom, in the consciousness of his own practices, immediately
comprehended the scheme of this letter, and confidently assured him that
no such person resided in the prison or in any other place. And when his
friend applied for information to the keeper, these assurances were
confirmed; and that stern janitor told him he had been imposed upon by a
stale trick, which was often practised upon strangers by a set of
sharpers, who make it their business to pick up hints of intelligence
relating to private families, upon which they build such superstructures
of fraud and imposition.
However piqued the young Hungarian might be to find himself duped in this
manner, he rejoiced at the occasion which had thrown Fathom in his way;
and, after having made him a tender of his purse, took his leave, on
purpose to wait upon Trapwell, who was not quite so untractable as an
enraged cuckold commonly is; for, by this time, he had accomplished the
best part of his aim, which was to be divorced from his wife, and was
fully convinced that the defendant was no more than a needy adventurer,
who, in all probability, would be released by an act of parliament for
the benefit of insolvent debtors; in which case, he, the plaintiff, would
reap no solid advantage from his imprisonment.
He, therefore, listened to the remonstrances of the mediator, and, after
much canvassing, agreed to discharge the defendant, in consideration of
two hundred pounds, which were immediately paid by Count Melvil, who, by
this deduction, was reduced to somewhat less than thirty.
Nevertheless, he cheerfully beggared himself in behalf of his friend, for
whose release he forthwith obtained an order; and, next day, our
adventurer, having bid a formal adieu to his fellows in distress, and, in
particular, to his majesty, for whose restoration his prayers were
preferred, he quitted the jail, and accompanied his deliverer, with all
the outward marks of unutterable gratitude and esteem.
Surely, if his heart had been made of penetrable stuff, it would have
been touched by the circumstances of this redemption; but had not his
soul been invincible to all such attacks, these memoirs would possibly
never have seen the light.
When they arrived at Renaldo's lodgings, that young gentleman honoured
him with other proofs of confidence and friendship, by giving him a
circumstantial detail of all the adventures in which he had been engaged
after Fathom's desertion from the imperial camp. He told him, that,
immediately after the war was finished, his father had pressed him to a
very advantageous match, with which he would have complied, though his
heart was not at all concerned, had not he been inflamed with the desire
of seeing the world before he could take any step towards a settlement
for life. That he had signified his sentiments on this head to the
Count, who opposed them with unusual obstinacy, as productive of a delay
which might be fatal to his proposal; for which reason he had retired
incognito from his family, and travelled through sundry states and
countries, in a disguise by which he eluded the inquiries of his parents.
That, in the course of these peregrinations, he was captivated by the
irresistible charms of a young lady, on whose heart he had the good
fortune to make a tender impression. That their mutual love had
subjected both to many dangers and difficulties, during which they
suffered a cruel separation; after the torments of which, he had happily
found her in England, where she now lived entirely cut off from her
native country and connexions, and destitute of every other resource but
his honour, love, and protection. And, finally, that he was determined
to combat his own desires, how violent soever they might be, until he
should have made some suitable provision for the consequences of a
stricter union with the mistress of his soul, that he might not, by a
precipitate marriage, ruin the person whom he adored.
This end he proposed to attain, by an application to the court of Vienna,
which he did not doubt would have some regard to his own service, and
that of his father; and thither he resolved to repair, with the first
opportunity, now that he had found a friend with whom he could intrust
the inestimable jewel of his heart.
He likewise gave our hero to understand, that he had been eight months in
England, during which he had lived in a frugal manner, that he might not
unnecessarily exhaust the money he had been able to raise upon his own
credit; that, hitherto, he had been obliged to defer his departure for
Germany on account of his attendance upon the mother of his mistress, who
was lately dead of sorrow and chagrin; and that, since he resided in
London, he had often heard of the celebrated Count Fathom, though he
never imagined that his friend Ferdinand could be distinguished by that
appellation.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
FATHOM JUSTIFIES THE PROVERB, "WHAT'S BRED IN THE BONE WILL NEVER COME
OUT OF THE FLESH."
Some circumstances of this conversation made a deep impression upon the
mind of our adventurer, who nevertheless concealed his emotions from the
knowledge of his friend, and was next day introduced to that hidden
treasure of which Renaldo had spoken with such rapture and adoration. It
was not without reason he had expatiated upon the personal attractions of
this young lady, whom, for the present, we shall call Monimia, a name
that implies her orphan situation. When she entered the room, even
Fathom, whose eyes had been sated with beauty, was struck dumb with
admiration, and could scarce recollect himself so far as to perform the
ceremony of his introduction.
She seemed to be about the age of eighteen. Her stature was tall; her
motion graceful. A knot of artificial flowers restrained the luxuriancy
of her fine black hair, that flowed in shining ringlets adown her snowy
neck. The contour of her face was oval; her forehead remarkably high;
her complexion clean and delicate, though not florid; and her eyes were
so piercing, as to strike the soul of every beholder. Yet, upon this
occasion, one half of their vivacity was eclipsed by a languishing air of
melancholy concern; which, while it in a manner sheathed the edge of her
beauty, added a most engaging sweetness to her looks. In short, every
feature was elegantly perfect; and the harmony of the whole ravishing and
delightful.
It was easy to perceive the mutual sentiments of the two lovers at
meeting, by the pleasure that sensibly diffused itself in the
countenances of both. Fathom was received by her as the intimate friend
of her admirer, whom she had often heard of in terms of the most sincere
affection; and the conversation was carried on in the Italian language,
because she was a foreigner who had not as yet made great proficiency in
the knowledge of the English tongue. Her understanding was such as,
instead of diminishing, reinforced the prepossession which was inspired
by her appearance; and if the sum-total of her charms could not melt the
heart, it at least excited the appetite of Fathom to such a degree, that
he gazed upon her with such violence of desire, as had never transported
him before; and he instantly began to harbour thoughts, not only
destructive to the peace of his generous patron, but also to the
prudential maxims he had adopted on his first entrance into life.
We have already recorded divers instances of his conduct to prove that
there was an intemperance in his blood, which often interfered with his
caution; and although he had found means to render this heat sometimes
subservient to his interest, yet, in all probability, Heaven mingled the
ingredient in his constitution, on purpose to counteract his consummate
craft, defeat the villany of his intention, and at least expose him to
the justice of the law, and the contempt of his fellow-creatures.
Stimulated as he was by the beauty of the incomparable Monimia, he
foresaw that the conquest of her heart would cost him a thousand times
more labour and address than all the victories he had ever achieved; for,
besides her superior understanding, her sentiments of honour, virtue,
gratitude, religion, and pride of birth, her heart was already engaged by
the tenderest ties of love and obligation, to a man whose person and
acquired accomplishments at least equalled his own; and whose connexion
with him was of such a nature as raised an almost insurmountable bar to
his design; because, with what face could he commence rival to the person
whose family had raised him from want and servility, and whose own
generosity had rescued him from the miseries of a dreary gaol?
Notwithstanding these reflections, he would not lay aside an idea which
so agreeably flattered his imagination. He, like every other projector
in the same circumstances, was so partial to his own qualifications, as
to think the lady would soon perceive a difference between him and
Renaldo that could not fail to turn to his advantage in her opinion. He
depended a good deal on the levity and inconstancy of the sex; and did
not doubt that, in the course of their acquaintance, he should profit by
that languor which often creeps upon and flattens the intercourse of
lovers cloyed with the sight and conversation of each other.
This way of arguing was very natural to a man who had never known other
motives than those of sensuality and convenience; and perhaps, upon these
maxims, he might have succeeded with nine-tenths of the fair sex. But,
for once, he erred in his calculation; Monimia's soul was perfect, her
virtue impregnable. His first approaches were, as usual, performed by
the method of insinuation, which succeeded so well, that in a few days he
actually acquired a very distinguished share of her favour and esteem.
To this he had been recommended, in the warmest strain of exaggerating
friendship, by her dear Renaldo; so that, placing the most unreserved
confidence in his honour and integrity, and being almost quite destitute
of acquaintance, she made no scruple of owning herself pleased with his
company and conversation; and therefore he was never abridged in point of
opportunity. She had too much discernment to overlook his uncommon
talents and agreeable address, and too much susceptibility to observe
them with indifference. She not only regarded him as the confidant of
her lover, but admired him as a person whose attachment did honour to
Count Melvil's choice. She found his discourse remarkably entertaining,
his politeness dignified with an air of uncommon sincerity, and she was
ravished with his skill in music, an art of which she was deeply
enamoured.
While he thus ingratiated himself with the fair Monimia, Renaldo rejoiced
at their intimacy, being extremely happy in the thought of having found a
friend who could amuse and protect the dear creature in his absence.
That she might be the better prepared for the temporary separation which
he meditated, he began to be less frequent in his visits, or rather to
interrupt, by gradual intermissions, the constant attendance he had
bestowed upon her since her mother's death. This alteration she was
enabled to bear by the assiduities of Fathom, when she understood that
her lover was indispensably employed in negotiating a sum of money for
the purposes of his intended voyage. This was really the case; for, as
the reader hath been already informed, the provision he had made for that
emergency was expended in behalf of our adventurer; and the persons of
whom he had borrowed it, far from approving of the use to which it was
put, and accommodating him with a fresh supply, reproached him with his
benevolence as an act of dishonesty to them; and, instead of favouring
this second application, threatened to distress him for what he had
already received. While he endeavoured to surmount these difficulties,
his small reversion was quite exhausted, and he saw himself on the brink
of wanting the common necessaries of life.
There was no difficulty which he could not have encountered with
fortitude, had he alone been concerned. But his affection and regard for
Monimia were of such a delicate nature, that, far from being able to bear
the prospect of her wanting the least convenience, he could not endure
that she should suspect her situation cost him a moment's perplexity;
because he foresaw it would wring her gentle heart with unspeakable
anguish and vexation. This, therefore, he endeavoured to anticipate by
expressions of confidence in the Emperor's equity, and frequent
declarations touching the goodness and security of that credit from which
he derived his present subsistence.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ANECDOTES OF POVERTY, AND EXPERIMENTS FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WHOM IT
MAY CONCERN.
His affairs being thus circumstanced, it is not to be supposed that he
passed his time in tranquillity. Every day ushered in new demands and
fresh anxiety; for though his economy was frugal, it could not be
supported without money; and now not only his funds were drained, but
also his private friends tired of relieving his domestic necessities;
nay, they began to relinquish his company, which formerly they had
coveted; and those who still favoured him with their company embittered
that favour with disagreeable advice, mingled with impertinent reproof.
They loudly exclaimed against the last instance of his friendship for
Fathom, as a piece of wrong-headed extravagance, which neither his
fortune could afford nor his conscience excuse; and alleged that such
specimens of generosity are vicious in any man, let his finances be never
so opulent, if he has any relations of his own who need his assistance;
but altogether scandalous, not to say unjust, in a person who depends for
his own support on the favour of his friends.